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Asked by Last Updated:

I have a verbally abusive husband. What do I do?


I have a verbally abusive husband. What do I do?

4 Answers

Marriage_com Answered:

Many women may get hitched only to discover down the road that something isn’t right about the way their husband acts towards them. People with patterns of abusive behavior will generally keep things at bay for a long time before their true colors start to emerge. Sadly, the victim of this behavior is then left with feelings of emptiness, sadness, or anxiety and it feels as if nothing they do is good enough. If you can talk your husband into going with you to counseling, he may be able to learn some communication tools and anger management strategies. Bring up the topic of counseling as if you want it for you – not for him, as that can annoy him. These personality types are difficult to get into treatment, difficult to treat, and almost impossible for you to deal with on your own. Know that a person who exhibits verbally abusive behavior (such as threats, coercion, insults, and put downs) is very likely to also become physically abusive as well. You will need to stand your ground and let him know you will not stand for the behavior. If he is unwilling to change, you may have to make some new choices about what’s important in your life.

Isaiah Answered:

If you are afraid of your husband or he does not respond or change after you've clearly communicated how his words hurt you, seek professional counseling and separate yourself from your husband for a time if necessary.

Joseph Answered:

If you feel safe confronting your husband, do so and communicate clearly how his words make you feel. If you do not feel safe, please do not confront him without others to witness your confrontation and support you if things get ugly.

Pacothetaco Answered:

Verbal and emotional abuse can eventually turn to physical abuse. Get professional help, so you can both learn to express yourselves in healthy ways before it gets worse.

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