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Please what do i have to know before marriage? and please what should i ask before marriage

Answers (2)

LoveCoach said on
What exactly are the areas you are wondering about?  Conflict resolution?  How to argue effectively?  How to have a hot sex life?  How to deal with all of the family members that come with being married?  Religions?  Cultures?  Kids?
LoveCoach said on
There are so many conversations that you need to have before contemplating marriage in our western society.  Children-are you going to have any, if so, how will they be raised, disciplined, educated?  Finances-will you both work, share bank accounts or seperate?  Family-how much or little will they be invited into your daily affairs?  Will you discuss issues with family and friends or is that uncomfortable for either partner?   I would also pose these topics of conversation to you as they will prepare you for those little "curve balls" as we call them...the things life throws at us when we least expect it....
1.  How and when will you argue?  Will you have these exchanges as soon as the issue presents itself or will you schedule it for a later time when both partners have had time to process and calm?  
2.  Will you use past behaviors in your discussions?
3.   Do you have a SAFE word?  A word used by either partner to signal that things are getting too heated and you need to take a break before one of you says or does something they will regret?
4.  What will your day to day schedule look like and what household/family chores and errands will each partner be responsible for completing?  What about your time together?  
5.  Will you have date nights or perhaps time where you volunteer together for a non-profit you both enjoy?  What about your individual creative outlets?  Will you share those or will they be reserved only for your time alone?  
6.  What is the way your partner most likes to receive love?  Are they tactile and love to be touched, kissed, hugged, made love to, or are they visual and they like texts, notes, or gifts that you send or give unexpectedly?  Are perhaps they like "acts of service"-washing their car, changing the oil, filling the gas tank, running errands they need to run, etc or perhaps they are auditory and they need to hear they are doing a good job or that you love them and this could be with phone calls, voice notes, or whispers in their ear... by knowing how your partner likes to receive love, it will make it easy for you to know they always know you love them.  
There is a wonderful book by Gary Chapman called the Five Love Languages and in that book there are quizzes for both men and women and at the end you will know your partner's love language, and you can then learn to "speak" it frequently and fluently!  I wish for you a life full of gratitude, abundance, and passion! <3
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