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Asked by Last Updated:

Family problem

So I just happened to come across this site and thought I’ll throw a question out there.
I live in California with my family.
I got married 2 years ago and my wife moved in here together with the rest of my family (ours is an Indian family, there is my mum, dad and I also have an unmarried sister).
So, the thing is our marriage is great.
It was an arranged affair and I was very sceptical at first, but somehow the two of us have really fallen in love and grown very fond of each other, in time.
The problem is that my wife is having the hardest time adjusting with the rest of the family members.
My mum and she are constantly arguing; the same happens with my sis too.
I feel so sandwiched between all this and my wife comes with all the complaints to me… I just don't know how to solve the matters.
It’s kinda affecting me now and I wish I could help them become more understanding so we can live together happily.
I don’t want to move out; can someone help?

3 Answers

Blessidu Answered:

As an adult woman who had to move in with her in-laws I second the notion that you should definitively move out! Your parents and siblings know when you are joking because they've known you all their life. They don't have that same familiarity with your wife and they probably take a lot of what she says the wrong way and vice versa. The tension between in-laws is incredibly hard to break through. You'll either have to all go to therapy together to learn to communicate and understand each other or you will need to move out. Talk to your wife and see what she needs to be happy. Happy wife, happy life.

LoveCoach Answered:

jassarora, it sounds to me like there are some underlying issues that need to be addressed and once they are, your entire family will find the utmost peace, joy, and happiness living abundantly together!  There is no greater feeling in the world than loving your spouse unconditionally and this is achievable when you have the right tools!  If you would like, I would love to share some of the tools I use in my practice to help couples with the exact issues you are facing!   

Monika Answered:

Living with your mom and dad and expecting your wife to cope up with them is not an option. Move out and you will see that your relations (even your wife's relations with the in-laws) will improve drastically.

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