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Asked by Last Updated:

Can marriage counseling help?

My wife has dragged me to this counselor saying that he can help us with our anger issues.
We both are hot-headed people and get into arguments at the drop of a hat.
One of our mutual friends suggested this therapy thing and she took it too seriously.
Now, since the last month (once every week) we go to this person and he asks us all kinds of uncomfortable questions.
It’s just making me all the more angry.
I don’t want to do thi My wife and I are still fighting.
What’s the point of it all? My wife now accuses that I am not willing to work hard on ‘my issues’ I really want to control my anger and stuff but not this way.
It annoys me that I have to be answerable to this guy I barely know.
Should I just stop going ? Sometimes I even wonder that my wife was not the right person to marry.
Or am I the one with all the issues in the world.
This is so hard.
I just feel angry and suffocated.
Please someone help.

2 Answers

LoveCoach Answered:

chawdaneedshelp, I agree with manisha in that the negativity is going to get in the way of ANY relationship you try to have, so let's work on that, first and foremost. You say that both you and your wife have anger issues...are you hostile toward each other often or is it just when there is a disagreement that you both verbally attack? Also, have you tried neutral arguing? How about a safe word? There are so many strategies to having a successful and passionate relationship, and I just want you to experience gratitude, abundance, and passion!!

Manisha Answered:

I think you need to stop being so negative firstly. We all have our own unique set of issues - yours is probably getting angry easily, among other myriad things. All of us do. Don't kill yourself over it. Acknowledge it and work on yourself. Also, this thought pattern of thinking that marrying your spouse was a wrong decision is also very common. We human beings have a tendency to do this. Since, we can't control of own problems, we think that the problem is outside of ourselves. But that is never the case. There is nothing wrong with your wife or your decisoon to marry her- even if you married another woman, these issues would persist - Since these are YOUR issues. As for going to the counselor...hmmm, yes, of course it's uncomfortable, What else did you think it would be like?But please understand those people, including your wife and the counselor, are all trying to HELP YOU!. Please be respectful of that, it may be discomforting but it will help you with your inherent issues. Please value this attention and make the most of it NOW. Once your approach to things changes, everyting around you will become more joyful and positive. You will notice your anger issues fading away too. So stay happy, stay positive - in your head. I'm saying above all else, you need to do this for yourself!

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