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Asked by Last Updated:

Is it wrong to wonder if there's more out there?

I met my husband at 13.
Started dating at 14.
Had our son at 18.
Married and had our daughter at 20.
I'm now 26.
I love him, and I know he loves me.
He's my best friend, I love spending time with him.
Now we also live with my mother in law.
Which is bittersweet.
She is a blessing, she cooks and cleans and watches the kids while we work.
She is a retired widow and loves her grand babies.
Now she owns a lot of land and my husband is an only child.
She told us if we moved out she would sell the land.
My husband doesn't want that.
His father worked hard for this land and he knows he will inherit the land one she's gone.
We have lived here for eight years.
Most days I'm happy and content.
But some days I don't want to be here any more.
We've never lived on our own as a family.
We lived in a house with 5 other people for about a year before or son was born then moved in with his parents when I was about 7 months.
I so badly want to decorate my own house, make dinner for my kids, have tickle fights in the living room (instead of our bedroom), correct my children when they're bad without feeling judged.
I do love my mother in law, and she had helped us so much.
But I always feel guilty if I just want to have family time without her or go to the dinner and not have to ask her to come along.
Anytime you try to talk to her she gets very defensive and angry.
Her mother is still living so she goes there every other weekend but it's still isn't enough alone time with just my family.
My husband will not move out.
Most things we agree on but this one we do not.
I don't want him to lose the land he loves so much.
But for her to put us in this position.
 She literally threatened to sell it if we moved out.
It makes it hard for me.
Anytime a guy gives me attention I wonder what it would be like to be in a different situation.
To be with a guy that's not held down by his mother.
To be with someone who would do anything for me.
Because I would do anything for him.
If he wanted to move to a different state or different country, I would.
Am I being selfish? Am I wrong to want something different? Am I wrong for thinking about being with other men because I was so young and never lived a normal teenage life? Staying out with friends and going out with different boys.
I know it's different now.
I'm a mother and love being one.
And I'm not saying I want a bunch of one night stands or going out to parties.
But I didn't get to really be young and single.
I don't know.
I've talked to my mom and friend about it but I guess I just wanted an unbiased opinion.

1 Answers

Namnam Answered:

Hi there, The first thing that came into my mind was that you have a beautiful life, girl! You have a great husband, friend, confidant all in one. Plus, you mother in law is a source of support too. And great children too! Don't take all that for granted. I know you're young and the mind does sway and wish and long for other things. That's completely human. I think the things you stated about your mother in law is a bit tough and at times it must be getting frustrating for you too- I know you do long for things to be different with your hubby but understand that he's the only child and the mother wants you guys to stay as a family. She needs some kind of insurance as well - and that's her way of going about it. Talk to your husband, if you guys cant leave then you can plan short trips or do things on your own that will give you a lot of joy together. I think you can work it all out. Just speak out (in a nice way) and you will get your solution. Good luck :)

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