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What do you do if your husband felt forced to marry you but refuses to leave you?

We have been married four years. After the first year I cheated. I kissed a co worker. My husband doesn't believe that was everything but it was. I have physical problems that cause me to have pain during sex so in order to not hurt me but still get satisfaction I allowed him to go outside the marriage. It just happened to be with my best friend who we were housing at the time. It lasted a week. She moved out saying I'm at fault for not realizing she would fall in love with him. I gave them rules to begin with. They broke all of them. She said he forced her and she said no. She told her family this and now they believe my husband raped her. She also told them I was in on it too. She doesn't believe they believe that because she knows she was a willing party and enjoyed it which she never disclosed to her family. They refused to stop seeing each other as friends and now they are dating. If you need anymore information just ask me. It's a really complicated situation on all parts and I want to get the best advice I can. No question is out of bounds for me because of this.

Answers (3)

ranjimarriage said on
Gosh! That sounds like one hell of a complicated situation! What do you mean you allowed him to go out of the marriage? If you are facing pain during sex, ideally you guys as a couple should have gone to a doc to solve the problem. Most women face this and medical help can solve the problem. You just complicated the situation. Now from what I gather, your friend and husband are involved and have started seeing each other? what did you expect? and moreover what are your expectations out of this marriage? Do you want to stay with your husband or do you want to make it like an open affair where you both are allowed to see other people. I think you need to think about these issues very seriously... cheating in a marriage is not acceptable (at least not in a conventional marriage) but one can make their own rules - as long as both people have agreed on it. You can only solve this by being honest to yourself. If a conventional marriage is what you want then, you need to tell your husband and start all over again.
SASM8727 said on
You never put why you feel he was forced to marry you, did he actually say that or you just feel he does? If he said it, I wouldn't drag it out and would give him a divorce so you both can be happy. Were you intimate before marriage and knew sex was painful and would be an issue? Sex was extremely painful for me also at first, found out years later my high sugar diet and non organic feminine hygiene products (liners, pads, tampons) would give me yeast infections literally every month so I got a healthier lifestyle use organic lady products and drink lemon water daily to keep the yeast away and the pain is gone. One of my gf said sex was painful for her too, found out she had a cyst and had it removed, she's happily married and no more pain during sex, something to consider... so sorry about what you're going through, hugs!
CarolynTFrank said on
Yeah! Hope you get the strength to deal with this situation.
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