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My wife wants to split up because i have lied to her about drug use for 5 out of 6 years of marriage

Hello i have been married to my wife for 6 years we have 2 kids a 5 year old and a 2 year old when we met i was in rehab for a dwi i had used drugs most of my younger life and after i got out of rehab i was doing good. When we were dating we ended up getting pregnant we wanted to get married after finding out. So we did during our engagement i was a traveling welder and after getting married with a child on the way i started smoking weed. This happened on and off for a year and a half then she and my child went and lived with her mom for about 5 months i ended up getting clean and stayed clean for over a year things were good i ended up getting a stable job but i still was gone all week and i didnt mind it a first but after a year or so i ended up hating the guys i worked with and didnt like only seeing my wife and kids only 2 days a week so i started taking pills to cope but then i ended up getting a job where i was home every night but by then i was hooked i felt like i could do more of my "husband/fatherly duties" when i took them well in jan my wife found out that i had been abusing them and is now emotionally done. We had talked about if i keep useing that she would leave me b4 but like i told her i never realized that that could happen until now. But like she says she is scared to give me another chance in fear of getting gurt again. I totally understand how she feels and i feel horriable about it all i just dont know if i can prove to her that she can trust me again or if she is totally done

1 Answer

namnam said on
I can totally understand how you must be feeling. I think you need some help and certainly you should reach out to your wife for it. It' def does not sound like you want to break up with her. In fact, you come across as someone who wants to work on his marriage and fullfil your fathrly duties. It is also clear that you want to end this association with drugs for good. You are headed in the right direction, my friend. Don't kill yourself over this now, I think that if you sought for professional help years ago or just confided in your wife and told her that you had a genuine problem but were determined to get over drugs, she would have helped you and trusted you . She 's feeling bad that you never told her and did this behind her back. It all boils down to trust in the end....
The best advice that I can give you is to go back to her, tell her of your intensions, tell her that you want another chance and that you will really work on yourself and get over this mess for good. If in the process you need to get admitted into a rehab or need a specialist , then do everything you can to make that happen.
If she knows how determined and stong and genuine you are, she will surely reconsider her decision. Don't lose hope. Good luck

Hogweldr said on Mar 23, 2015

You are totally right about the trust i have broken it and as for right now she doesnt even want to think about trying to trust me. She has been looking for a rent house or something but she wont b able to afford it by herself. She says the only way to get financial help is to get legaly seperated or divorced but she told my mom she doesnt want to get divorced right now. When she talks i can tell she is done she says she loves me but is not in love with me anymore i can also tell that she is happy about the fact that we are sepereated and that breaks my heart as of right now i told her to stay at our house with are kids because they do not need to b up rooted and i will leave. I dont really know what to do.
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