This must be devastating for you now, I;m sure. after so many years into the marriage, you fall in love with someone and give it your all. but when the love loses its fizz for whatever reason and one of the partners feels like moving on, it always makes sense to speak out and tell the spouse that this is the way they feel . that way there are changes to change or improve on the marriage, but being unfaithful is a totaaly different thing. Not supporting her or anything of that sort , but think of reasons why she chosse to do this. She didn’t feel heard in the marriage? She didn’t feel understood or cared for? She felt the heart connection was missing or losing that old touch? She lost herself in the marriage giving too much? She felt she had to do all the work - as a parent? Have an open conversation with her....reflect on this yourself for a while too...you may fins some answers on your own... also find out where she stands now - does she want to give the marriage another chance, are you completely willing to do that as well? Have a mature talk with her....and only then decide what you must do... do consider that you have children as well - your decision will affect them as well....God bless you!
Tough choice, but if you were a good husband, divorce her. She really made the choice for you by cheating on you. She humiliated you as a man and you'll never be able to trust her again. If you try to forgive and go on with the marriage, how will you ever know what she is really up to? Suppose she tells you she is going to the mall for a few hours — how will you know that's really where she is going? Unless you're in a fog, it will eat you up.