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Asked by Last Updated:

I cheated on my husband - should I tell him?


I cheated on my husband - should I tell him?

1 Answers

Henery Brown Answered:

When you walked down the aisle and said your "I do's" you probably never imagined that one day you would be having an affair behind your husband's back. But, here we are!
Listen, marriage is not easy. Life is complicated and sometimes mistakes are made that can really hurt the people we love the most.
What's important now isn't beating yourself up over your infidelity, it's about taking proactive steps and deciding what to do now.
If you want to leave your spouse, then the steps you need to take are pretty simple. Pack up, explain yourself, and go! But, if you want to stay with your partner, there are a few extra things you need to do.
First, you need to sever all contact with your extramarital partner/s. Delete and block them from your phone and socials. You do not want to be tempted to cheat again.
Second, get to the bottom of why this happened. What's going on in your marriage that made you stray from your husband? Therapy can help you (and your spouse, if you should choose couples therapy!) understand how to better communicate your needs to your partner and avoid another situation like this.
Third, consider telling your husband.
I once read a study about how keeping a secret can be bad for your health. The research indicates that secret-keeping was associated with lower sleep quality and poor quality of life. It can be extremely stressful to keep something so big from your husband- especially if you're constantly worrying if he's going to find out.
I can't make the decision on whether or not you should tell your husband what you did, but you may find your confession will actually bring you closer while keeping the secret can actually encourage repeated behavior.
As a side note, I thought this article offers an expert psychologist’s views on the subject and offers some great advice on getting over the difficulties. Good luck!

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