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Asked by Last Updated:

Should I confess my afair?

Eight years ago I had an affair.
Our marriage was in a really bad place and I made the mistake of befriending a neighbor.
While my husband was away on a hunting trip I spent the weekend with our neighbor.
Fast forward to the present, and he has no idea about the affair and no real way of ever finding out.
I go through most of life not thinking about it and it doesn't bother me.
On occasion it comes up and the guilt is overwhelming.
I can't eat and I can't sleep for a day or two.
Then it goes away and all is fine again.
I honestly don't think I should tell him, but I wanted some anonymous advice.

1 Answers

Alice Answered:

That's a tricky one.
On the one hand, if the affair is over and you are actively working on being a loyal and trustworthy wife to your husband - why break his heart over something that has already ended just to relieve your own guilt?
On the other hand, I'm someone who would want to know if my spouse was being unfaithful. I don't want to live in a relationship based on a lie.
I do believe that if you tell your husband you had an affair, or more importantly WHY you had the affair, you'd be able to get to the bottom of the issues in your marriage, you'd come out stronger on the other side.
In the meantime, here’s a helpful read about how to get over the guilt caused by cheating in a marriage that I think will be of interest to you.

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