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Asked by Last Updated:

How do I call it quits after 20 years? It has been dead for over a decade, but he will not leave.

I take care of my family.
  I've been really ill and had to return to work during radiation treatment to take care of bills.
  My husband does not pay any bills other than his phone and cable bill.
  WE have not been intimate in nearly 7 or 8 years.
  We sleep in separate rooms.
He will cook.
  But, only things that he likes, which is unhealthy food loaded with fat and sugar.
  I have become someone that I am ashamed of being.
  Cold, unresponsive, emotionally fragile and nervous.
  He treats me like he doesn't want to be around me, but is always asking questions---  Are you hungry? When are you coming home? ( I work 14 hour days to keep our bills paid).
  He treats women really nice, calls them sweetie, darling, hugs them and kisses them on their heads etc.
  Kinda creepy to me, but he does it all the time.
  He works full time and doesnt contribute at all to our bills.
  We live in a big house that he wanted.
  He lets the grass get overgrown, even though I bought a tractor for him.
He will cut once a month or so and is really proud of himself when he does.
  I told him that I need him to take over.
He has two degrees and has a carpenters license, but he will not move out of his comfort zone(the computer) to find a job that will take care of us.
  I am tired and I am always in pain.
     He is not physically violent, he hates to discuss anything, he walks away in frustration or anger, but he is not violent.
  I really want out.
  What can I do?

1 Answers

Kforrester Answered:

If you want out of the marriage trying talking to him about it. Have you spoke to him about getting a divorce? If you want to fix the marriage I have another suggestion that I have found to help couples mend their marriage. However it is really up to you. 

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