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Asked by Last Updated:

Is this relationship over?

I'm single and dating a widower for 3months.
We had an argument.
I took the blame on me.
I didn't want to go days without talking.
His late wife 1st year death anniversary in few days time.
I know how he feels.
I lost my parents.
is it over between us? I dated him for 3 amazing months as if we were together all the time.
I am a stroke survivor and dating him is like bring back my life again after very long time.
He called me everyday, we spoke on the phone few hours a day.
We are living 4 hours from each other.
He speaks about the late wife time to time, I say nothing just acknowledge him.
He has a son, aged 3.
Our conversation is like happy go lucky, laughter and teasing.
We had 3 arguments- the first two were that he was insecure about me.
I reassured him that I will be there for him though thick and thin.
The latest argument was with regards to the son.
He is over protective or I hurt his ego.
He said is over between us.
I did not call him for one week then I decided to call, the third time, he answered.
Talking like normal and he wasn’t angry at me and he only answered to the questions I asked.
Then he said he’s busy now and hang up the phone.
Later I tried to messaged him and I asked “can I call you now?” He answered “sorry not today” that was the last message from him.
We have been intimate for few times, everything is normal with us.
his late wife 1 year death anniversary in few days time.
It’s his school sweetheart, they have been together for 14 years and married 6 years.
I am so confused now.
What should I do? Give him more time until 1 year death anniversary or is it over like he said due to his anger? I am feeling extremely down this 10 days.
I don’t know what I am supposed to do.
I want to text him but I don't know what? If so he never reply to my text messages for the past 10 days.
I didn't send emotional messages just like "how are you? How are you coping? If you need more time please let me know?" I am clueless.
I seriously need your guidance.

1 Answers

Emily Rodes Answered:

You're definitely in a difficult situation! You are dating someone with a lot of baggage and clearly this is an emotional time for him.
What I will say is that if you feel your relationship is over because of a couple arguments, it doesn't sound like a very mature relationship. Even the happiest couples in the world argue from time to time.
I would take your cues from him. It sounds like he's processing a lot of emotions right now and needs time. I would wait until after the death anniversary has passed and then reach out just to let him know you're there for him.
If he doesn't respond or does but only with some type of 'Thank you' then I would take that as an answer that he is no longer interested.
There's an insightful article that talks about how to date a widower (what to do and what to avoid, etc.) that I think you'll find interesting, should your relationship continue.

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