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Asked by Last Updated:

Am i married with a women that doesn't truely love me anymore?

I shall cut to the chase i'm new here joined as getting little desperate with my marriage situation been married 5 years.
we had our ups and downs in marriage.
she is from Indonesia and I'm from the uk so there are some culture differences.
we first met on the cruise ship we both worked on 6 and half years ago.
in the early years we were extremely close etc etc, nowadays like really big problem ask her for sex, we still do it but only if i ask, even tried not asking and weeks and weeks or even a month goes by without anything.
she used be so passionate in early days now i basically feel i am in a loveless marriage we only really together for sake of our 3 year old son.
if wasn't for my son id 100% just walked by now in all honestly but i don't want to leave my son and being from two different country's does make it harder.
I have talked to her honestly about it but she says she always tired that she does still love me but some our fights have been very intense at times with everything happened way our sex life is makes me feels confused.
am i over looking something? i be honest sometimes when i ask to do it she gets pissed off with me asking her words "IM TIRED CANT U UNDERSTAND THAT" personally i don't understand it because its tired all the time i always one asking.
one time even joked just feels like i lodging with the landlady in our place

1 Answers

Sophia Answered:

I'm so sorry you're going through such a trying time.
Sex is extremely important to a relationship, and not just because it's fun or it feels good.
When you have sex with someone, your body releases oxytocin. This hormone is designed to promote feelings of bonding and trust between partners. In turn, this makes you closer and feel more in love.
The lack of this intimacy can definitely make you feel lonely and is a MAJOR ego crusher. As you mentioned, you may even feel more like friends (or husband and landlady!) than romantic partners.
That being said, I think calmly talking to your wife is important. Show that you have empathy for her situation. Raising a child is exhausting, so tell her you understand that! But tell her it’s also important to connect on an emotional AND physical level if you want to keep your marriage healthy.
I think it would be highly beneficial for you and your spouse to go to marriage counseling, if you are both willing. Counseling will help you get to the bottom of why she is so sexually removed from your marriage and work on your communication skills.
There's a great way to find a counselor in your area on (here: Please feel free to use the search to help your marriage!

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