It's great that you want to communicate with your wife! I'm not sure how you're communicating now, but healthy communication should be done with an appropriate mix of:
Honestly and politely communicating your feelings
Showing empathy for the other person's feelings/Trying to see their side of things
These are also great steps in healthy conflict resolution.
There's an informative article written by an expert all about toxic communication styles versus healthy communication styles that can shed some light on where you may be going wrong (or right!) in your communications with your wife. I highly recommend giving it a read: https://www.marriage.com/advice/communication/differing-communication-styles-can-both-fail-and-strengthen-your-relationship/