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Asked by Last Updated:

Im not sure what to do, advice please?

So me and my husband are both 22 we just got married in March.
Weve been in a long distance relationship and not been together but a few times because of military reasons.
I'm supposed to move with him to England on Jan 4 but some stuff keeps happening and I'm not sure how to handle it or if I'm handling it correctly.
Recently we had had some problems I wasnt in the best mental state was suicidal etc.
He kept saying he couldnt handle me being upset and he needed a break the day I told him I was suicidal.
Things like that kept happening so I talked to him about how he had been treating me.
He was getting aggravated when i was getting upset but i couldnt help it and had been trying multiple medications to get better.
We had a talk and everything got better.
We were able to communicate better everything was good we had been excited about moving together.
He sent me a message saying he loved me soo much we were gonna be together forever all that stuff.
Then a few hours later I get a TEXT saying "I cant do this anymore" I face time him asking what's going on and he says he hasnt been happy that he doesnt feel like he can do what he wants if hes with me stuff like that.
I'm hysterical crying and he just sits there blankly.
A few hours after that I'm still crying feeling like I'm literally dying and he texts again saying it was a mistake.
He said he had been drinking (we had an agreement that we wouldnt go out drinking like that without each other) and he said his friend was pushing him saying he didnt seem happy and that I didnt let him have fun because he refused to drink to make more comfortable.
He keeps saying he wants to change and hes gonna go to therapy and try to work on himself and be better and he cried harder than I've ever seen him cry.
I just dont know how I'm supposed to get past this.
I told him if I dont feel like hes really trying or anything else happens or I feel like icant trust him then I'm not staying with him but idk if I'm making the right decision.
I want to be with him more than anything but the anxieties and worries about how he really feels is killing me.
He says he is really happy with him and that he domt know why he did it but I cant help but to keep worrying and feeling really down.
I just want to work through this but idk I'm trying to wait and see how he does and If it seems like he really is going to try and work on it and change.
These random ups and down are just taking alot out of me and if anything else happens idk if I can handle it.

3 Answers

Healthanchovy Answered:

just a test of your marriage if both of you will survive. Let your love conquers every difficulty...

Passcode Answered:

Keep being stronger and stay awesome!

Anon1576 Answered:

They say the first year is the hardest and it has to be more difficult with long distance. Maybe after you two are together it would be different. It’s hard to say. Your mental health is the most important thing and you need to take care of yourself. Sounds like his friends are in his head. Maybe try talking with a therapist on your own and see if it helps. And keep communication open. Marriage is a super up and down rollercoaster. Something that always helps me is to have conversations with myself before I speak to my husband to make sure I stay calm and positive. Men can be such little boys and they need to be treated as such sometimes. The best of luck to you.

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