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Asked by Last Updated:

Should I leave her?

I met my partner online and we talked a lot.
We decided to meet in person and all of the sudden, we started to date.
We come for verry different familes and we are from the area where anyone who is "different" is not acceptable by comunity.
We are the same gender.
She is divorced and older than me.
She had very hard life, she had to struggle alone with 3 kids.
Anyway, begginig of our relathionship was as good as it could be.
She was very commited to me, she accepted me for what I am, we were cuddling any time we were together, we slept at each other hands.
Sex was good as well, we were experimenting, taking thr things slowly, which I believe is understandable given the fact that she is not a lesbian and she was with the person of the same gender.
We spend few months dating and then we started to live together.
I was really jelaous at the begginig, we had a few fights about her past relashionships (because I thougt that she is not complitely honest with me).
We told the oldest child about us, but not to anothet 2 because we consider that they are too young and they can only get confused.
So we are living together and we are not acting as a couple during the day.
At the begginig it was fine, there were the times when we were alone so we kissed or we just talked.
While walking next to each other, we touched each other etc.
But with the time we were fighting even more about l kinds of stuff and all the attention which we showed to each other during the day is gone.
I started to miss attention so much and I tried to talk to her a lot of times but every atempt to do so led to another fight.
Now we have the sex every week or two (we had sex earlier at least 3 times a week), I keep teling her that I need more of us when it comes to sex, kisses, touches, but I just managed to push her even furder away.
When we have a sex she does not even taking my clothes off (she started to do that before but she stoped), she does not kiss me anywhere except my lips or cheek, we always have the same positions etc.
We are sleeping in living room and we need to be extra careful.
And we are living together for 2 years now and it really boders me that she does not takes off my clothes etc.
When we talk she says that we fight so much and she has a block and she can not help her self.
That I need to stop to talk about my needs and that she needs a period without a feeling that she must do it for me.
I never forsed her, I never pushed her to do anything, and all her reasons sounds to me just as exuses now.
I dont know if I need to keep working on us or broke up because I can not live with someone and constantly miss that person so much.
Please help.

1 Answers

Henery Brown Answered:

I think you need to sit down and have a serious conversation with your girlfriend.
It isn't uncommon for some couple’s sex lives to diminish slightly the longer they are together (especially if there are kids in the house), so I wouldn't worry about that, but the fact that she doesn't take your clothes off any longer is a bit of a warning sign.
As for whether you should break up... It doesn't seem like she's putting the time into the relationship, so if you have a conversation and express your concerns with her and she still doesn't try, I would end things.
There's a great article that deals with this very issue. It's all about whether you should stay or leave your relationships: https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/should-you-stay-or-should-you-go/
Hopefully after reading that article you will have a better idea of what you want to do for your future.

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