My husband hates my family
I have been married to my husband for almost 4 years but he and I have been in a relationship for 11 years before we got married.
We’re both Filipinos and coming from the Philippines our culture has very strong family ties.
When we weren’t married yet he was very close to my family until such point that he would spend holidays with us.
He did introduce me to his family and I saw them a few times within that 11 years they aren’t as close in fact he would share to me how he has anger issues with his dad and how he ruined their lives because he was a womanizer and he grew up seeing his mom chase after his dad.
His mom was nice to me in fact she helped me fix my papers to get into the job where i am now as a public school teacher (she is too) but things took a turn when i got pregnant.
His family was happy mine was too but my husband who was still my bf that time couldn’t get over the fact that my parent’s reaction was not as excited when they knew coz she asked us why we allowed the baby first when we could’ve gotten married (we’re catholics by the way).
But my parents were still so supportive of us until we got married on my 4th month of pregnancy.
On the day of our wedding my SIL shared to me that my MIL expressed she wasn't happy and my SIL even said that my MIL's fave kid was my husband.
At this point his mom was insisting that we for an OBgyne of her choice which i didn't like, i had my choice of OB until she (my MIL) and husband got into an argument on the car whila having this discussion.
Fast forward when I gave birth i had to move to their place and this is where i felt my MIL was distant.
She did play favorites and her favorite grandkid surely wasn't my son.
So i decided to move to our place coz my mom would look after our baby while my husband & i worked.
But at this point my parents were jobless and my husband had to pay for a car loan.
To make things complicated, my husband was quite lazy in terms of helping out in the house (probably bcoz he thinks as long as he pays his part of the bills he shouldn't be obligated to help with chores).
Until my mom, sister and my husband argued one night about the electric bill and my sister told him to man up and find a place for me and my son.
We did find a place of our own but my MIL whom we visit once in a while when I share to her about stuff she would be defensive of my husband even if it clearly isn't right.
None of his side ever explained to him or talked to him about his attitude.
I feel helpless.
It's been a year since the argument between my husband, mom and sis and they have apologized to eachother.
once in a while he would leave me and my son at my family's place if he would go on a night out.
Recently my brother became a full pledged sea farer and my sister a flight attendant.
Ever since this happened, my husband has been telling me time will come my siblings and i will have competition and they will hate me for being the eldest and least successful (his mom was the eldest, was supposed to be a doctor but didn't happen coz she got married early).
He would constantly drink when he's drunk he'd argue with me and bring up the past.
I feel that he is insecure of my family bcoz he knows how close we are and despite the many misunderstandings we remain strong.
We are a brood of 5 and my younger siblings none of which have gotten married are building up good careers.
His siblings (they are 3 he's The youngest) are all married each with 4 kids.
I don't if I'm just way too clingy with my family or he really has issues.
I just need advice perhaps i am doing something wrong too.
I feel helpless