Is my husband gay?
My husband never wants to have penetration with me and avoids intimacy and is not passionate or loving. He only gives me oral sex, he would happily give me oral sex every night and does not seem interested in anything else with me. There is no passion when he does it or kissing and leading up to it. He is technically very good at giving oral and I enjoy it but our sex life and marriage is passionless and does not feel intimate, it feels like the oral is something he is doing out of duty to keep me satisfied and hopefully happy in the marriage. I have a good sex drive and fairly open minded and never experienced this with any man in the past. He said he doesn't want to cum because he hates the feeling after and feeling tired, although he locks himself in the bathroom for ages at a time to 'poo' with his phone. I suspect he is looking at porn or chatting to people on his phone, I know he is into the cuckold thing, feminisation, wearing tights and really likes the thought of a sucking a man off and is into men who feminise themselves. He says he is not gay but he was on fetlife (fetish website/hook up site) and said he was bisexual on his profile. I asked him and he denied it and then said he's not sure he's confused. I have always suspected he may be gay and his family have asked if he is before. I'm not into fetish stuff but I'm open minded, he wanted me to sleep with other men and I nearly did at one point but changed my mind as when I came close to meeting a couple of men he got angry and jealous but then he would start going on and on about again like an obsession. He wears tights and I have no problem with this, I don't even mind if he's gay and have told him so but he seems very secretive and things don't add up for me. I have always tried to be accommodating with him and he knows he can tell me anything, sometimes I feel like he wants me to sleep with other men to give him the green light to do things with men, such as sissy's and Dom's. I feel like he's scared of loosing me because I'm a cover for everything and he's scared things will come out about it. Also he's never lived alone, he has always had a long term girlfriend so he is quite dependent and needed in a domestic way. He has never had a one night stand or casual sex, he has only had sex with 5 women including myself all in long term relationships he says he had less sex with them! I wonder if he is gay or bisexual with a leaning more to men or just into fetish and porn stuff and struggling with intimacy and being shy/awkward. I'm interested in anyone's thoughts on this please?
Bunniebby97 said on
Honestly it really does sound like he is. You said yourself that he said he was curious. Locking you out of a room shoulsnt even be a thing I know privacy is a thing but you are married there shouldnt be any secrets like that. If you arent happy and you feel like a cover up and think that's what's going on then dont do that to yourself. I know it hurts to hear because I just recently posted about some stuff going on with me and my husband so I do know how bad it hurts to think you might need to move on. But you cant do that to yourself either. If you arent happy and he is looking into other things or telling you to be with someone else it doesnt sounds good at all. I dont know you at all but I know that you deserve to find someone who is all about YOU and only you. Maybe try talking to him about it again and have a foreal conversation and if you dont feel any different then I think maybe it's best you move on. Being someone's cover up and being in love with them but them being whatever is not healthy. You should be able to find your own person who will love and cherish only you not someone who is possibly messing around and just using you like that.
morganc said on
Perhaps. I would advise to check him. You can install several dating apps and look at his reaction. But generally better talk with him heart to heart. This article https://www.happymatches.com/blog/gay-dating/gay-app solve your problems.
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