Should I get divorced?
Should I get divorced?
I am 33 and she is 27
A crossed culture Married for 1.
5 year and knowing each other for 3 years.
I make the money and she works at home.
I help her a lot in home as well since my job is remote.
We travel a lot outside the US We love each other and our sex relationship is great Almost every single day she finds something to argue with me.
She hates my job and my start up while I am making great money.
I even don’t work after 6 PM as I promised.
Her family is in love with me.
She is extremely emotional.
She beats me when she gets angry.
I have couple of bruises on me each time.
She always shout at me on small things and then cry.
She apologize all the time but the next day again the same story.
Self reading books didn’t help and I cloud not convince her for a therapist.
She was in the US for 1 year for her green card and I thought being homesick can cause this and after receiving the GreenCard, she visited her family for a month but didn’t help.
We got marry in the US and family couldn’t make it.
She was always nagging that she didn’t have a real wedding.
Then I did the best wedding (As she admits it) in Thailand with all family and friends but that didn’t help neither.
She hates all my friends and colleagues.
I am known in my family and friends as a patient person but I think I am putting my and her health and future in danger.
I was happier before her.
I thought I can share my happy life with another person who I love and create a great family and kids but here I am.
When she gets angry which is often happens, she puts me down front of everyone like my friends, colleagues and strangers.
When I am telling her that she may need help by a doctor, she gets more angry that she is not crazy.
What she is mostly angry of me I sometimes smoke weed (True).
When we are with family or friends, I pay attention more to them (True).
I don’t always open the car door for her (True).
I love my family too much (True).
I don’t pay attention enough to her (I don’t know what is enough).
I sometimes text and drive (True).
I look at girls in a sexual way (Wrong).
I lie to here all the time ( Wrong).
One side of me is sure that being separated will make me happy again but another side, I feel sorry for her.
I know if we get divorced, her family will torture her and I do love her and don’t want this happen.
I am really confused.
Please help me if you have any similar experience and advice.
First of all, I am so so sorry about you. Nobody wants to have problems with their spouse. unfortunately in the real world, there are many more problems than we expect... You should think that you are not the only person who has problems like that. actually ı can say that everybody has such problems. some of them come over problems others don't. Honestly, ı can say that you can heat up, save, mend your marriage. You can put the destiny of your marriage in the right way even if only you want it.
Don't forget that avoiding problems is the easiest way rather than facing. But think getting divorced is the worst thing in the world.
If you feel desperate or don't know what to do don't forget If others have been helped, you can be, too. Experts with a great deal more perspective and experience can be a real help in these situations. Do your research and divide the useless from the useful, then take advantage of the useful.
You should take action.
Were you happy before in this relationship? Marriage is not always perfect you know, people argue because they want that they partner would become even better. Do you really think you need that type of relationship where your spouse is constantly admiring you? Maybe, you shouldn't be so fast in searching about divorce, and visit a family therapist first?
Consider this carefully. If she were a multimillionaire would you love her more? Be honest with yourself. Maybe she would get a job if you had more hair? Variables can always change; what you are considering cannot be undone. You are young and learning, but you cannot grow if you abort the process. In the end, YOU choose her just as she willfully choose you. What about you would lead you to a undesirable result that YOU willfully choose. Would you do it again? What hope is there for you if you are unsure of want you really want; is this decision really her fault? Consider carefully.