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Asked by Last Updated:

Husband wears my underwear, lipstick & uses my toys?!

I’m just kind of in shock at the moment and wondering how many others have been in a similar situation?! But my spouse who I’ve been with for 7 years has been wearing my underwear, has used my toys on himself (which I’m disturbed that I’ve used them after that, unhygienic!) and now is trying my lipstick.
ive seen transgender/sissy porn on his phone/computer before and that’s been brought up before but he dismissed it as nothing.
hes also messaged craigslist men.
Chatted with and paid nearly 1000$ for live cams.
There’s just been curveballs one after another.
Im trying so hard to be delicate and nonjudgmental because I don’t want to hurt his feelings.
our sex life is already basically non-existent we have a 3 and 1 year old but the previous porn findings had turned me off.
and this is another huge turn off and I don’t know why.

1 Answers


It is not okay that he's messaging people and paying for live cams. You need to tell him to cut that out of his life if he wants to stay with you. It isn't a bad thing that he cross dresses, or wants to use your toys (although he should definitely ask you and also clean them after,) but if he's looking for people outside of marriage, that's a huge red flag.

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