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Asked by Last Updated:

She’s too fat!

My wife has given birth to two beautiful little girls, ages 6 and 10.
She used to be physically athletic and took great care of her body.
Over the last year, she has gained almost 40 pounds.
She cries and complains about the extra weight all the time but she eats out at least 5 times a week.
I know her life is busy just like mine, but we share the responsibility for the cooking and child caring.
In the night, I cook dinner and she generally brings home fast food, in addition to eating what I cooked.
She was recently diagnosed with diabetes and high cholesterol.
Her doctors constantly discuss with her the health risk associated with diabetes but she refuses to change her lifestyle.
Often, I invite her to the gym with me and I even pay extra for the sitter.
If she goes, she usually sits in the sauna the entire time.
Can someone give me some advice?

7 Answers

Jean1 Answered:

This reply is mostly to men/husbands. Both the husband and the wife need to work out and stay fit, not just the wife. We must not make this all about wives gaining weight. Men get sloppy and fat too. Men get bald and ugly too. Men, you all get undesirable too, but in this country, we only write articles that tell women about that. So not fair! Stop it now! Why are we not bringing up the imbalance and the double standard? Now, most of all husbands, please read this carefully. When your wife starts to run a house and take care of the children and do all the other things that are on her shoulder, she hardly has time for herself, don't complain or nag her. Be understanding, and do not be harsh with her. God tells you all that! If you walked a mile in your wife's shoes, you would understand what the road looks like! 8/26/14

Ross_confused23 Answered:

Sit with her and make her understand that she needs to work on herself . After a point, women start believing that looking good and taking care of themselves is no longer a priority. its only taking care of the hubby, kids, house, etc... that matter to them. it's true, it happens to the best of the lot. ur wife is no different. show her the mirror and drill this into her head that SHE NEEDS TO TAKE CARE OF HERSELF - no one else can do that for her.

Feliz_rozario55 Answered:

Make her watch the documentary on the 72 stone killer – fattest woman on Earth who got a chance to lead a normal life after a radical surgery. You wife will definitely wanna change her lifestyle..

Ross_confused23 Answered:

Invest in some home gym equipment or DVD’s. Make working out a family affair. Set the dates on the calendar and start small. Encourage her to take a lunch from home and restrict her spending habits. Encouragement goes a long way, if you find the perfect way of delivering it.

Tom_blues Answered:

Your wife has lost some motivation in herself. As a woman, when your child are that old you cannot use them as your excuse to pack on the extra pounds. I have four children and made the choice to change after my husband loss interest in my sexually. He explained to me why he didn’t feel comfortable being romantically involved with me. It hurt more hearing the truth than wondering in speculation, why my husband would only sleep with me; when he was drunk. It probably wasn’t the best conversation our marriage has endured but it was the first hardest conversation our marriage endured. Good Luck!


Replied on Aug 27, 2014

So, are you saying that if the husband does not want to have sex with his wife that he can reject her, but then everyone scolds wives when they reject their husbands? How is this fair? What a double standard!

Bestbetty87 Answered:

No matter how much you choose to support your wife, she has to desire to commit herself to a healthy lifestyle. Diabetes is probably her #1 health issue now but she is prone to suffering from a heart attack or stroke. I don’t think you can inspire someone who doesn’t find the inspiration in themselves. I learned the hard way in life and suffered two strokes within a month before committing my life to exercising and changing my eating habits. My wife supported me through it all but not until I made some personal decisions.

Bhugis Answered:

Often we think that losing weight is a tough job, you need to maintain a strict diet, wake up early in the morning and workout like a maniac. But that’s not always the case. I once weighed over 200 pounds but then I got into this really fascinating diet system called the “Ketogenic deit” – it’s basically a high fat – low carb diet that works wonders. If your wife loves eating that’s fine. This is a wonderful diet system where you get to eat the most awesome food like whole blocks of cheese and glassfuls of butter. No workout required but if you could do it. Hey nothing like it! Try it out. You will find lots of information online on how to go about following a Ketogenic diet. Go Keto!

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