Can someone tell me what they think about this...?
First to start with something unrelated, I was looking for a forum related to problems in marriage.
And somehow the search results came up with "Frugal Home" and without checking into it, I just went ahead and posted what happened and asked for advise on there.
Then later on, I was asked to leave the forum and then found out it was cuz the forum was not about marriages at all.
Anyways, if you could read the following and give me some advises, I'd really appreciate it so much.
Me and my husband has been married for about 4 years plus almost 5 years now.
We had rough patches, argued alot I'd say.
But managed to still stay married now and we have a little 20 months old boy.
What happened was, we were gonna take our boy to go to the clubhouse, so he could play there.
My husband stayed home and worked a little today.
As he is just starting his business venture.
So by 9pm, I finished cooking, and we planned to go to clubhouse first then come back and eat.
My husband asked if I wanted to go earlier but i wanted to finish cooking first, and then we could come back and eat.
When I was done cooking, and we're getting ready.
I told my husband that I wanted to go to the gym.
(we had a deal that we would go to the clubhouse and take turn to go to the gym while one of us took care of the baby, but we havn't done it, and seemed like we have forgotten that deal.
) And then he started calling me selfish.
he said selfish like not once, but he said it a few times, then he started saying "selfish intents, selfish intents.
" Then he raised his voice kinda yelled and said, "I'm getting ready arent I?" Then I got upset and said I didn't want to go, when he came back to the room.
And he started calling me a piece of trash.
And I got more upset and started yelling.
Then it went on for a whole night, where I yelled at him about what he said that got me upset in the first place.
Texted him when he left and took our son to the clubhouse.
He denied that he raised his voice at me.
and said that I was over reacting.
What I need advice with is that, am I at the wrong here? Am I over-reacting like he said i was, or if you would have got upset too if you were me? Maybe it doesn't seem like a big deal, but there are alot of other details I didn't mention.
And based on some of our history, I probably think it's a bigger deal than it looks like from what I mentioned above.
Anyhow, if you can give me some advice and what you think, about what happened that I talked about above, whether if I over-reacted or if anyone would have been upset.
I could really use a second opinion.
The challenges here are that both you and your husband find it hard to apologize and is seriously affecting your Marriage and also there is no friendship in the Marriage. Friendship is so powerful that it brings understanding in between the two hearts that truly love and appreciate each other. You would have apologized to him due to the fact that you didn't talk about going to the clubhouse to bring back your son instead you were talking about going to the gym. He overreacted for raising voice on you but all this is because there is no friendship existing between the both of you. Learn to apologize when you are wrong. "I'm sorry" has healed so many broken hearts and as well put smile in their faces.