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unsatisfying sex life, thinking about an affair

I love my wife more than anything, but our sex life has never been good.
When we first started dating, my wife was a virgin (at a relatively late point in her life) with some psychological hangups about sex, and I assumed things would get better over time.
It's better than those first few awkward encounters, but only marginally so, and we have now been married for almost a decade.
We seem to want and enjoy fundamentally different things, to the point that sex is more a chore than anything else.
We mostly do it out of a sense that we're "supposed to," rather than because either of us really wants to.
Because of this, I find myself increasingly overcome by thoughts of having an affair.
Not necessarily with any one specific just someone who would be more sexually compatible with me.
I don't want to hurt my wife and would never think about divorcing her.
As I said, I love her more than anything and we have a great marriage apart from this one shortcoming.
I should probably also point out that we have a 3-yeard old and that my wife is currently pregnant with our second child.
We are not in an "open marriage" and because of our fundamental differences, plus how long it's been, I don't think the prospects are great of our sex life improving.
So my choices are basically to look for opportunities to have sex with other women (and lie about it to my wife) or resign myself to never having a satisfying sex life.
Any advice?

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