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Asked by Last Updated:

Should I get a divorce?

My wife and i have been together for nearly a decade.
Our entire relationship has been 50/50 on happy or fighting.
We recently had our first child and things have not gotten any better.
Ill be the first to say that im not perfect and i have trouble connecting emotionally "atleast to her standard" I prefer to drop things instead of talking them out and before anyone says thats the issue hear me out.
I prefer to drop things because 90% of the arguments are in her head.
They are over minor issues and are usually only arguments because she wants them to be.
She is very vocal and goes 0-100 in no time.
She is demeaning and argumentativre in public and around our apartment complex and that truely embarasses the crap out of me.
I am a person that doesnt believe that relationship issues should be broadcasted for everyone to see.
The only reason i am on here is because i have come to the conclusion that our relationship is over and i dont have anyone to turn to for advice.
I have spent the last 9 years telling her that the only thing i want from her is to learn when to back off and maybe for once not lose her mind over every little thing that doesnt go her way or sound the way she wants it to sound.
She has anger problems for sure and based on what her parents have said she has had them all her life.
I knew that when we got married and have delt with it since then.
I even stopped drinking a few years ago because when i did drink i found myself in less control of the words coming out of my mouth.
All the anger and resentment i held inside while i was sober would spill out after having to many drinks.
Now i have the ability to bury it deeper and keep it from coming out but sometimes she pushes and yells to hard and im honestly scared of what could happen if i let go.
My current situation makes things that much harder i guess.
We have a two month old son and all i want is the best for him.
I grew up without a father and by no means plan on doing that to him.
I just feel that he will have a better life with two parents that only care about him instead of two parents that stayed together and fight all the time.
I have told her i do not want to argue infront of him but she doesnt seem to care.
When shes mad shes mad and she doesnt care who hears it.
We have talked about divorce a few times and even pulled the paper work once or twice but now i think it might be time to put pen to paper.
Anyone have any advice on my situation?

1 Answers


First of all, I am so so sorry about you. Nobody wants to have problems with their spouse. unfortunately in the real world, there are many more problems than we expect... You should think that you are not the only person who has problems like that. actually ı can say that everybody has such problems. some of them come over problems others don't. Honestly, ı can say that you can heat up, save, mend your marriage. You can put the destiny of your marriage in the right way even if only you want it. 
Don't forget that avoiding problems is the easiest way rather than facing. But think getting divorced is the worst thing in the world.
If you feel desperate or don't know what to do don't forget If others have been helped, you can be, too. Experts with a great deal more perspective and experience can be a real help in these situations. Do your research and divide the useless from the useful, then take advantage of the useful.
You should take action. 


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