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Asked by Last Updated:

Husband never asks to have sex?

Let’s start by saying I am very sexual.
My husband never initiates sex ever.
He never kisses me and I have to ASK for any physical contact I want.
This is really starting to take a toll on my self-esteem, my confidence, and of course, our marriage.
I've tried talking, I've tried yelling, and I've tried shutting him out! I’m completely lost and I have no idea what to do?? Any advice would be great.

4 Answers

Jonas111 Answered:

I know a few couples that we hang around and we call talk relatively openly about our sex lives. We have a couple of friends that have this same issue. The wife wants to have sex constantly and the husband has a lower sex drive. I don't understand the low sex drive thing, mainly because I have a huge sex drive. It's hard for me to understand why someone wouldn't want to have sex. That being said there are many outside forces that could cause someone to not want to have sex. Stress, erectile difficulties, past sexual abuse, insecurities, and possibly intimidation. Please know, 9 out 10 times this has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with your partner. When you figure out why I have not doubted his sex drive will increase again. Counseling is not a bad idea for something like this. There are great alternatives. Good luck and thanks for sharing.

JannyLi Answered:

You may try diffderent role games 

Clarkchristoph Answered:

If you start having sex and his sex drive appears and he moves and has normal sex, I think he just got used that you provoke sex and you provoke it enough for him. I mean he doesn't need sex more often than you want. But if you are having sex and his erection is soft and you have sex and don't feel the same drive as you feel, then he may have problems with libido. speak with him openly and go to the doctor. 

Bellalogan2015 Answered:

We have a similar situation, but the roles are reversed. The idea of kissing my husband and beyond does not interest me anymore ever since he hurt me terribly. I don’t feel loved and therefore don’t want to give him my body. Suggest therapy to him and see how he reacts, my husband refuses which has made me pull away even more. I know at the foundation of a good relationship is usually intimacy, but it makes me feel like garbage when I give in. Eye opening for me to hear it from the other perspective. If my husband would try therapy I would try to start over in the bedroom but he isn’t willing. I hope everything works out for you, everyone deserves to feel desired by their spouse.

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