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Asked by Last Updated:

Am I in the wrong?

Alot has happened in the last month between my wife and I.
We seperated for some time due to some insecurity issues I had with her talking to men online alot at different times throughout our 5 years together, it was all platonic the issue was mine.
If I told my wife how I felt she would stop talking to them to make me feel better, I know she shouldn't have done this, long story short she built up resentment by doing this over time and 'snapped' - her words.
And told me she wanted to seperate, that she didn't love me anymore.
We seperated for a month however continued living together and seeing a marriage councilor.
It helped and right now we are working on us again - my wife came to me, told me she loves me and wants to sort things out.
So now we are "married" again.
My wife has been clear that she will longer stop doing things to ease my feelings and doesn't care if it bothers me.
(the councilor spoke of How she shouldn't have stopped talking to blokes to ease my insecurity).
I have been working hard on my insecurity (which I got from a previous bad relationship where I was tret very badly) and not allowing my wife talking to men bother me anymore.
All has been well.
My wife has recently struck up a friendship with an old co worker.
Talking ALOT on WhatsApp.
Morning / lunch / evening.
She came to me yesterday and told me he has invited her out for a drink and how I feel about that.
Inside I was screaming hell no.
But I said that's fine with me.
The more I thought about it though the more I thought right now as we are it's perhaps not the best time for us to be doing this (as i wouldn't go drinking with a female either).
Later on in the day I said to my wife I'm not happy about it, that it's a little disrespectful at the moment as we are trying to fix us.
Of course she got angry and her back up saying I haven't changed and that she will go out with him regardless of what I think or say because that's what the therapist said to do and I should just trust her.
Am I being out of order having a problem with this? My wife says she loves me and that she wants to work on us.
But her actions don't show that.
She shows very little affection, spends alot of time on her phone chatting to people and has no regard for my feelings anymore.
If I bring it up she gets angry and tells me "I'm trying what more do you want" Any input would be great I'm at a loss and feel so lonely and broken at the moment.

1 Answers

Kausik_Ram Answered:

Eitheer you have to trust her and continue or have a frank talk of her not doing things you do not like, and lose her. It is of no use for you tosufffer by being angry with her and at theh same time keeping quiet about her deeds. In the meantime findout as to what subject or matter interests her and try to discuss such matters with her. You also try to find some actiivity like attending whatsapp or mesaginng or talking to your firends which may make her feel that you arer not totally depend on her for comfort.

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