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Asked by Last Updated:

Roles, Responsibilities & Finances

My husband and I have been married for 8 years.
We have a 5-year-old son.
We both work full time, he makes more $ than me.
He pays for the mortgage, put down the down payment on the house, purchased most of the furniture, pays all monthly utilities, cars (fully paid off).
He owns his own business so business expenses, including rent, he has a part-time employee.
I pay for my son's daycare tuition, groceries, dinner (usually pick up), medical expenses,  medical insurance, gas, all of my own wants, hair, clothes, makeup, girl's trips, and most of my sons wants.
I pretty much spend my entire salary, I don’t have any savings.
He makes substantially more than me.
Let's say he has PLENTY of savings.
I am also responsible for ALL the housework and ALL things related to my son.
Pick up, drop off, feedings, bath, bedtime routines, doctor appointments, etc.
I ask him to do more in the house and with our son, IMO writing a mortgage and utility check isn’t enough.
His response, “nothing is ever good enough for you, you are never satisfied”.
I want honest and real feedback.
Is he right or am I expecting too much since he is the breadwinner?

1 Answers

Stuckhere44 Answered:

I am going through something similar, but flipped. I am the breadwinner AND I do all the housework and cooking. He just spends time at his easy job and working on his hobbies. And from my perspective, no you are not being unreasonable. It is not anyone's "job" in a relationship to do chores. Everyone makes the mess/uses the dishes/contributes to the children being born; therefore, it is a shared responsibility. I
I don't know how to help you because I'm stuck in a similar situation, but here is something I am going to start trying and it might work or it might not. Be direct and tell him you NEED him to do his fair share around the house. 

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