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What are the reasons for getting a divorce after living together for more than 20 years of marriage?



Hi,
What causes divorce, especially after living together in a marriage for 20 years. My parents divorced after 20 years of marriage . I am still unaware of the fact that what exactly went wrong between both of them, I would like to know about the possible reasons for a divorce for such a long-lived relationship.  

Answers (4)

Ella Welch said on
Getting divorced almost in the retirement period is not a decision taken in haste. However, in most cases, the reason is spending less time together.

This situation arises out of marrying fairly young and having kids shortly after. Which clearly indicates that the couple didn’t get much time to know each other better. Also, being highly occupied in raising their kids, whatever problems they encountered would have been masked or ignored often. Also, between working a full-time job and dealing with family stuff, some couples don’t really spend a lot of time around each other.

However, when the kids are grown up, that’s when real problems which had been ignored for long comes as a big cause of concern.  Now, because of less compatibility, couples don’t really make an effort to sort it out knowing that they don’t have too much time left at their hands. And if they want to live it in the best possible way they either have to fix the relationship or divorce.

Even in a parenting marriage, the child becomes an adult in 20 years. The couple no longer has to put up with each other just for the sake of raising the child. Such couples generally get exhausted of surviving in an unhealthy marriage. When their kids are all grown up and independent, the parent finds co-parenting after divorce as a better option to spend rest their life just as they want.
These are some of the cases that lead to divorce in the end. But, if both partners make an effort to work more on improving their compatibility or, spending requisite time together which they missed out on after having kids. Going for a tour or an exciting holiday together can possibly bring back the lost spark, excitement in life to save their failing marriage.
marriagedestiny said on
Yes, I agree with "Ella Welch" comment. Due to a busy schedule, they don't spend most of the time together. That's why this situation arise Ella Welch
LRS1951 said on
I am not so sure.

In my situation, we were still in VERY good condition (relationship wise) when the "children" moved on, leaving home and starting their own lives.

The last one left TWENTY FOUR YEARS AGO... and things were just fine.

And due to pension requirements, I retired NINETEEN YEARS AGO.

And yet, this last November - abruptly and out of nowhere, my wife decided to up and move out into her own place - a very small apartment (a separation only at this point).

And why was that?

I. Do. Not. Know.

She simply will NOT give ANY answer. None. Zero. Na da.

I think that (with talking with MY therapist - she, of course, will NOT go) that while there are multiple causations, that the main one if that a psychologically-orient "friend" convinced her that it was now time to do the "glorious independent woman" lifestyle (which is so independent that since her own income won't pay for it, I have to kick in for about half of her budget needs)!

And I still do NOT know WHY!!!
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