How to make a fresh start in a second marriage after a bitter divorce?
It has been 5 months since my friend got a divorce.
She is still young and pretty as she was 2 years ago (before marriage).
I personally wish to see her marrying again.
I want her to give herself a new chance in life.
But before sharing my opinion with her, I really want to know what are the fears of getting married again.
What fears do they deal with before getting into re-marriage or even thinking about it?
I survived a divorce. and my second spouse, who then was just my boyfriend, was very supportive of me! He did not hurry, was patient, and for a long time sought my trust. He tried to show me that love can be different and the first experience does not have to be repeated. He said that I can say no and he will not be offended, because he will wait and believe. Everything happens in different ways!
Some people who get married at a young age, after a few years of marriage realise they aren’t compatible. They find themselves constantly fighting with their partner. And divorce seems to be the only way out.
However, it is only advisable to start afresh. A second marriage is often seen as a second chance at happiness.
Yes, planning for second marriage brings along many fears. And clearly, your friend is plagued by the fear of her second marriage meeting the similar fate as her first marriage.
She could possibly be fearing of being “trapped again” in a bitter relationship that ends abruptly. The best way to counter this fear is by taking baby steps in the relationship and not rushing to the altar. If you see your friend acting hasty or making radical decisions about taking the relationship to the next level, too early-on, then point out this as a red flag to her.
Tell her it’s best to invest in comprehensive and healthy conversations with her potential partner. The more she converses, the better she gets to know him.
Also, ask her to place more importance on doing a check-in with her partner in areas like shared goals, values, finances and compatibility.
Ask her to visit a therapist to overcome any residual bitterness and damage from the previous relationship, it is important to let go of any previous baggage before she plunges into the decision of a new marriage.
Her judgment may be clouded due to the rush of an exciting, new relationship. Help her make an informed decision by putting things into perspective for her without acting pushy.