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Asked by Last Updated:

Why do husbands cheat on their wives? Should I call it quits or revive the relationship?

Hi, I sometimes wonder what are the reasons that men look for love outside the marriage.
My husband cheated on me twice and now I don’t find any reason to forgive him.
I just don’t understand what is missing in our relationship that he finds it fulfilling outside.
Many times I indirectly tried to ask him if there is something he doesn’t find satisfying on my end but he is tight-lipped.
He is resistant to discuss anything on this matter.
This is what irritates me a lot.
I don’t see our marriage working together.
Please suggest me something, where should I work upon to make our relationship grow healthier.
 

2 Answers

SlabbertCounseling Answered:

How much time do you spend trying to be the kind of woman you think men want?
If you’re like most women, it’s a LOT. You spend all this time making yourself look sexy and attractive.
All this time presenting yourself as fun, interesting, worldly, and not needy in the slightest. You spend all this time showing him just how good you’d be for him… How amazing his future would be if he chose you as the woman by his side…
And it doesn’t work. It never works. WHY? Why do you work so hard… And the guy in your life just takes you for granted, if he even notices you at all? It’s probably because he’s immature, right? He can’t recognize a good thing until it’s gone. Or maybe… It’s because you’ve been doing all the work for him.


Fact:

What men value most are those things they have to work hard to get.
Hand a man a college diploma, and he won’t value it as much as if he’d had to put in years of study and effort to earn it.
Hand a man the perfect girlfriend, and he won’t value her as much as if he’d had to woo her for weeks just to get her to go out with him. This is why playing hard to get works.
But, as you’ve probably already noticed…
There’s a BIG problem with playing hard to get. That strategy stops working once he’s actually got you.
Something happens when guys decide they’ve won you. It’s almost like they think, “Game over.” Their minds are already on their next challenge. What is going on?!
And how can you stop it from wrecking your relationship?

God Bless and Good Luck




 

Carol-Royce Answered:

A relationship requires clear communication and compatibility. Trust, emotional intimacy and loyalty act as a major catalyst to a healthy relationship. You need to revisit your marital journey and take stock of the presence or the absence of these important elements in your relationship.

Also, one of the most common reasons for cheating on a spouse is an unexciting sex life. Boring sex regime can hamper marital happiness. However, some people are wired differently and irrespective of a thriving or a boring sex life, they cheat for the sake of cheap thrills. It could be a behavioural trait or a case of compulsive disorder.

Besides, it is fair to say that nobody would like to survive in an abusive relationship. The use of abusive language or abusive actions to harm the significant other either mentally, sexually, psychologically or physically becomes a major reason for cheating in some cases.

If a partner doesn’t feel respected, honoured in their relationship, they seek this missing love, respect or fulfilment outside their marriage. In a relationship like such, cheating is inevitable.

A lack of self-assurance in one of the married partners also becomes a reason for cheating. Often a partner who is suffering from a sense of poor self-esteem resorts to outside validation in form of a fling or an emotional affair to build a false sense of confidence.
In your case, it’s evident that despite forgiving your husband twice, he has shown no signs of remorse. Repeated instances of infidelity should be an absolute deal breaker in a relationship.

Do yourself a favour and sever all ties with the man, who is clearly a compulsive cheater. Remember that famous adage? Fool me once and shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.

Start afresh by seeking counseling for overcoming the grief of a broken relationship and learn to build a loving relationship with yourself.

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