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Asked by Last Updated:

Stuck between a rock and a hard place

My husband and I have been together for 13 years now.
We have 2 children (both girls) and he has a son from his previous marriage.
He is a narcissist and whilst I've known this for some time I'm really struggling lately.
As a narcissist he is always focusing on himself and my kids and I are always left behind and I'm really starting to feel the effects of this condition.
Everything is always about him and I feel very alone in this marriage.
He was now recently gone for 5 days and honestly it has been the best 5 days in the past 13 years.
I felt free, and in control - but now that he is due home, I'm really feeling the stress that comes with it.
I grew up in a divorced home and I don't want my kids to grow up like me, and I've moved so many times in my life I don't want to move again.
So basically, I don't want to get divorced but I don't want to stay married either.
There is no talking to this man, I'm always to blame, I'm always wrong he fails to look at any point of view but his own, so what do I do?

1 Answers

Dedra110 Answered:

I think that the fact that you felt that freedom and happiness when apart means that it’s truly the best outcome for you two. I have many close friends that grew up in a divorced household. I did not, but my parents were constantly fighting and I could tell that they were not happy together and the love was lost. I have heard from many kids that they were happy that their parents were divorced because they could tell how much happier they were. I hope that you consider the fact that your children can sense whether or not you’re happy (especially if they’re older). I watched my mom in a marriage where she was stuck and unhappy, and I wished she could just leave my father. Please acknowledge that your happiness is also important, you need to be happy before you can make your kids happy.

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