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Asked by Last Updated:

My husband wants me to quit drinking

I have been married for a long time and have two children.
My husband is extremely loving and caring and a wonderful person.
I didn't really drink much ever, but last year my husband expressed deeply that i should quit drinking completely.
I reluctantly did so to save our marriage and to keep him happy.
But a couple of days ago i drank just a little bit.
And when i mentioned that to him, he was very upset and asked me to chose between drinking and the marriage.
I think he is being very unreasonable, since there isn't anything that i have done in the past or he has no solid reason to tell me to quit i dont know what to do.
Im not such a great fan of drinking anyway but just the fact that he has put this 'restriction' so to say, i feel mad and want to do it more.
But i have two kids and he is a doting father, i am just agreeing to him.
But i dont feel good about it at all.
Please help.

1 Answers

There has to be some reason he's all of the sudden put his foot down. Has something changed with him, become more religious, have any history with alcohol, did you do something stupid while drinking, is drinking costing money you don't have or taking time away from him or the kids? I completely understand your feeling that hes making a mountain out of a mole hill especially if you only have a few drinks a year. It just feels like there has to be more to it. Does he drink ever? If not why? What have his feelings been around it prior. I have a feeling hes more upset by you saying you wouldn't and then doing it anyway. I've been there multiple times in my marriage and relationship. I think I can do this it'll make him happy only I haven't really understood or bought in so I never really intend to keep my promise. I have deeply wounded him by doing this because it's breaking a trust and that's way more of an issue than expressing that you disagree and trying to understand each other. My advice would be to ask him to explain his feelings and keep asking until you understand where and why he is coming from. However if he can't or won't tell you then theres either something deeper going on and this is being used as a scape goat.

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