Should i stay or should i go? My husband lies to me..
16 years together with kids.
It isn't daily.
He avoids telling me things and then will lie when I ask direct questions I already know the answer to.
We have been to counselling in the past.
It's been made clear the main issue is trust.
I have heard 100s of times 'i will just tell you everything no matter the reaction', but he doesn't.
He says he doesn't tell me things vecause of the way I react.
this to me is a cop out trying to blame.
I don't believe I am unreasonable.
I am at a point where it will never change and i can't accept it.
Honesty is my golden rule.
We enjoy eachothers time together.
It's the lying that hurts so bad.
I don't believe much he says now.
Do i stay until the kids are older because we get along or just leave now? We are both good parents.
I think a separation wouldn't greatly affect the kids until one of us moved on.
First, as you mentioned, you two are good parents to your kids and enjoy each other's company too. In such a great comfortability that you two share, separation is really not an option.
It's not a way for the rescue!
Remember that, you are blessed with a happy family followed with healthy kids.
Don't think of spoiling this gift that God has blessed you with.
Your major concern is "Trust". Right?
This is something which literally takes time to develop. You can not make it happen overnight. It requires a good level of understanding between a couple.
Do not run after him to trust you. Rather try to focus on how can you (on your part) develop it between each other.
Physical intimacy, listening to his concerns, sharing your opinion, emotional intimacy, discussing even a smallest of household things, sharing your grief-pain, things that effect, tell him how his actions and not being expressive towards you affects you badly. These are some of the ways that can help you build a requisite Trust factor between.
Give a new start, start understanding things from a new perspective. And I'm sure, things will fall in place.
Hope you have a happy and satisfied family ahead. This is just a small thing, dealing with it will give you immense satisfaction and develop an understanding of how to deal with such marital issues.