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Our marriage is perfect but the sex stinks!

Like the title says, our marriage is perfect but the sex stinks. My husband and I feel like we are missing part of us in the bedroom. We’re both Scorpios and love to be adventurous, though lately we’ve been so busy with the kids and work that we’ve neglected ourselves. I need some suggestions on how to freshen up our love life.
Any suggestions?

Answers (11)

unhappy567 said on
It is common for married couples to abandon their love life, when they have children and work. The objective to spicing up your love life requires a little bit of effort from both partners. Try dating each other again by making a date night. Romantic walks in the park and romantic dinners are always a great place to start. There is nothing wrong with a little wine as a night cap. Add some sweet music and sexy lingerie. I’m pretty sure things will heat up soon.
asdassss said on
Have you ever considered exploring each other’s sexual fantasies with games and fruit? Intimacy is not only about sex but about the bond you share with each other.
gary said on
I love the feeling of romantically cuddling with my husband nude. We make a date, once a week to schedule our nude cuddling sessions. Commonly, watching a late night movie and sipping on some wine, maybe a shot or two if it’s Friday or Saturday. Things rapidly escalate between us. It’s about the quality time and effort we put into our “us” time.
godessisara said on
Without specifically getting into Tantric sex (can seem daunting and also complicated), why not do some reading on tantra and practise a few of their techniques. Making your room into a "sacred space" (for love making) now and then, bringing in flowers and food, scents, things to make it more special and exciting but in a sensual way. If you can't do it at home then find a friend who needs a dog sitter for the night (or whatever) or rent a motel room. The investment in your marriage is worth it in the long run.  Practise eye gazing, taking things very slowly without expectation or worrying about orgasm. Learn lingum and yoni massage (you can watch videos on line).  Make the little bit of time you do have together connected and loving without the pressure of orgasm.  A tantric game that you can play involves setting aside a specific amount of time each week (can be an evening or just an hour) and allow each of you to speak your desires and have it acted on.  If you've always wanted your husband to kiss your feet but have been too shy to ask (just an example) then this is the time to risk (which creates a deeper sense of intimacy) being honest and vulnerable. The other partner can't mock or judge you and unless it's something humiliating or degrading, has to do it.  And then next week it's the reverse.  Each person has a chance to divulge their deepest desires.  Start slowly so as not to shock each other right away. It's amazing how many people have secret desires that are unspoken for years.  Sex can be your adult playtime and a way to really connect.  It's not about the orgasm.
Graham said on
How can it be perfect if sex stinks? I would suggest you to learn more about the art. Read 50 shades of grey, though I hate the book.
said on
sak_sak
Have you discussed this issue with your spouse? If not, l highly recommend you do that. You can also check out this podcast, listen to at least 3 episodes with your spouse, and you will improve your sex life. Hope this helps.

bigeyes said on Aug 29, 2014

Sex is not necessary for love.

n.marriage said on Sep 23, 2014

@gengarvey thanks for the link to the podcast...great website!

anonymous said on Sep 28, 2014

You are welcome, l am glad to help.
samarachick555 said on
Tell your spouse.
bigeyes said on
Sex is not necessary for love.
fglakeside said on
It depends on what you define as perfect in your marriage Sex is a big factor in marriage so pls talk to ur partner about the Sex part... every man want to satisfy his woman so telling will show you love him and you prefers only him and this will go further to boost his moral to make it up to you... let him know how much u love him before going into your topic...
Olympia said on
I really like the book Mating in Captivity by esther perel. Her prospective on how to build intimacy and challenge preconceptions about sex is really great.
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