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Asked by Last Updated:

She can't accept that she's adopted. How to console her?

My girlfriend just found out that her dad isn’t her real dad.
Her biological mom cheated on her adoptive father and left her in his care.
According to her dad’s journal, her mom just up and left when she was barely a year old.
She confirmed this with her maternal aunt and grandmother to which they didn't deny.
They said that her mom wasn’t the best wife, nor was she the best mother.
I understand that this is hard for her to accept especially with the recent passing of her adoptive father.
She says she feels like a different person, someone she doesn’t even know.
She’s very grateful for all that her dad did, but a part of her still wants answers.
Why did her mom leave? Who is her real father? Her whole life, she was deprived of the truth.
The recent changes makes her feel like a foreign individual in the home that she grew up in.
How do I console my gf? I want to be there for her but I don’t know how.

1 Answers

Roeshell Answered:

Hi! I hope everything is fine with you and your girlfriend. I agree it would have been hard for her to even accept this truth. But one has to move ahead. Right? This isn't the end and this is what you should tell her. This is how you should motivate her to be more optimistic about her life, her aspirations, and thoughts. Generally, at such low phases, if people spend their time more on reading or learning something new or by simply focusing on their dreams, trust me, it becomes easier to cope up with a tough time. And much easier now when I believe you would be there by her side. Support her as much possible, discuss things with her, try to console her by answering optimistically to all her questions. If you feel there is a need for an expert/ experienced advice which you won't be able to provide her, seek the help of a counselor. A counselor can help her make better decisions on the personal problem like such. I hope, things fall into place soon! Take care and good luck!

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