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Asked by Last Updated:

My Husband’s member isn’t as big as what it used to be.

Hi there.
I’m having some severe intimacy issues regarding sex with my Husband.
In my eyes a man is supposed to be virile.
The dictionary description says: ˈvɪrʌɪl/ adjective 1 (of a man) having strength, energy, and a strong sex drive.
My husband doesn’t.
When we first got together it wasn’t like this, he didn’t have any kind of sexual dysfunction whatsoever and got extremely horny quickly - I was in awe of him, I’d never met another like him.
Now my heart breaks because it began to get worse after I had a miscarriage and I told him that I needed him to carry on having sex with me so I didn’t feel like I had failed in my duty as a Wife like I felt like I had as a Mother, but he failed to take notice and things declined.
My heart breaks all the time and he genuinely thinks that I’m overreacting to what I should, I’ve seriously questioned if he is of gender bender orientation because he should have a high sexual drive.
He doesn’t care how I feel.
His member used to be massive, we used to call it a ‘cervix dick’ because it was big and girthy.
Now I cannot feel of his much unless he does a lot of thrusting.
This is HIS dysfunctional issue and he won’t even say yes to my suggestion of a member extender or a pill to make him get it up.
It breaks my heart but it is HIS problem and he won’t even feel ashamed enough into changing it back to when it was better.
What can I do? I literally like to be asleep at the moment because I dream of demons having sex with me hard.
That should be HIM! He doesn’t care.
I’m a mess.
:( Lin.

2 Answers

bunnyhabit Answered:

clearly tell him your thoughts and desires. tell him he must fix his problem as it is severely affecting your marriage and future. you need to impress him failing to fix his problem will end up in divorce. i fully understand your frustration as i primarily date black guys because they typically have huge members as well as high stamina and take best care of their white sweetheart. i go crazy when i date a guy and find out he has a tiny tim in his pants. please update your story when resolution is found.

Roeshell Answered:


I hope you are fine!

Just relax and do not over think about having an unsatisfied sex.

It happens, it's natural. 

But arguing more on this would create a problem for your own self. 

To deal with such a sensitive issue, you should consult with a marriage counselor or doctor who could advise you better on how you both can perform well in bed.

If not a healthy conversation, suitable medication can also help your husband deal with this dysfunction.

However, it's not just for you but equally a matter of concern for your husband as well. You should discuss it with him politely. Observe what he has to say about it and then humbly request him to consult a counselor or a doctor. 

Rather than physical sex, try to build up an emotional intimacy with your partner. Trust me, this could help you come more close to him and perhaps would later help you convince him for a pleasing sex.

Sometimes, being too much involved in sex or sex-related talks with your spouse becomes a reason for disputes and a major reason for bridging differences between both. So, when you know that your physical intimacy isn't working, you should try to approach for emotional intimacy.

Spend more time with him, develop more familiarities, friendliness, emotional attachment, and trust to be able to openly share your thoughts about your sexual dissatisfaction in bed.

I hope things will fall into place soon!

And soon you get to spend a good time in bed with your husband!

Good Luck!

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