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Asked by Last Updated:

Should i stay with cheating lazy and emotionally abusive wife because of our kids?

Me and my wife have been together for 14 years and married for 8.
We have 3 beautiful kids together that are 1, 6, and 11.
My son came up to me the other day and told me that a few years ago my wife used to sneak a man in our apartment while i was at work and he thinks i should divorce her.
He said because of her cheating and because of us not getting along well, constant arguing.
There have been other incidents of cheating that i have put up with in the past but I believe the only reason why i do is because of our kids.
I also believe we have grown apart over the years and im to the point where i cant stand to hear her voice.
I constantly fantasize about what my life would be like without her.
Am i wrong for feeling this way? She wont let go of the the relationship and keeps trying to apologize and say she wants to change but i dont want to waste anymore of my life away on her.
And by no means am I perfect but damn.
Should i stay for the kids? I have a hard time thinking about not seeing them everyday but this marriage has driven me crazy

1 Answers

NovemberRain Answered:

Staying with your wife is not always the best thing for the kids.. and I believe that that is a common misconception. If your child is so upset about your arguing that he/she came to you and told you about your wife cheating, that is a clear indicator that you are not providing the type of invironment your child needs. You don't have to leave your kids because you left your wife. Take the kids with you. Let her be the one who has to see them every other weekend. Kick her out of the house and get a babysitter. I am sure the babysitter will have more respect for your home and kids then to have men running in and out while your at work. The fact that your wife had strange men over your home, while you where at work, with your child around is disgusting. It shows that she does not respect you, your children, or herself. If you want to put up with that, let your kids see you put up with that, let your kids think that they should also be treated like this when they grow up.. that is sad. No one deserves this. You don't deserve this and neigther does your children. Not to be rude but are you sure all these kids are even yours? I know that it may not matter but she might try to take the kids away, if she knows they are not yours.... I have seen men stay with women because they know that she cheated and the kids are not his and he does not want to lose them. If some are not yours and you still want them there is another option. You can get a divorce and cohabitate until the kids get older. With this you can be a single man and still have your kids living at home with mom and dad. I have seen where this works. Just put some rules into place and have at it.

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