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Asked by Last Updated:

My wife fell out of love with me and now wants a divorce

Hello all, my wife and I are having some issues.
We have been together 10 years, married for 6.
We have 3 kids ages 7,4,1.
Last April, I started working the midnight shift as a police/fire dispatcher working a 4 on and 2 off schedule.
Over the last 2 months, my wife told me we she isn’t feeling the same about our marriage.
My wife is a stay at home Mom with our 1 and 4 year old and I typically try to sleep 9am-4pm because when my 2 oldest are together, the noise level gets out of control so my best chance is to sleep during the morning.
My wife stated she feels lonely when going to bed at night and hated it.
Now, working midnights is definitely stressful.
I’m a light sleeper and when I get woken up it’s very tough to fall back asleep even with sleep aids.
And when I get woken up when I don’t get enough sleep; I get agitated more.
I’ve talked to many of my friends who ar cops, nurses, nurses assistants and warehouse workers who work that shift and all agree that your personality changes on that shift.
My wife is a pretty quiet person and it took her a while to actually say something was up.
She said she was “forcing herself” to kiss and hug me and be happy but was falling out of love with me.
She didn’t tell me all this until months after she started feeling that.
Now we are at the point where she wants a divorce and doesn’t want to be with me at all anymore.
It has definitely broken my heart.
I’ve tried to explain to her that I know I’ve changed and that I don’t want to be like this anymore and will look for a new job.
But her response is that will be good for your next girlfriend and I don’t know why she has turned into this person and could just “ditch” repairing our marriage.
The two of us have gone to marriage counseling and my wife stated she didn’t see a change; I told her it takes more then one session but she no longer wants to do counseling.
How can I get her to fall in love with me again.
We have been through so much and I would never want to have to find my soulmate again.
Also, we have always lived with her parents in a large inlaw apartment.
My wife claims that being on our own for the first time has giving us a chance to see the real us and who we really are but I don’t believe that.
I believe it’s the midnight shift personality and lack of sleep by me which has made us fight more over the last year then we have ever fought before.
All suggestions welcome.

1 Answers

Alice257 Answered:

Time is the best source for healing wounds and your efforts can aid in getting back lost spark. Help her get out of the insecurity issues by making her feel special. Go for a daytime job and give her all the time required to get back her love.

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