Wife keeps accusing me of having an attitude, speaking to her the wrong way, or simply being an a*hole...
Here's an example, just a while ago we were walking our puppies, they are 1/2 great dane, so they are pretty big for their age (almost 3 months).
My puppy is stubborn and was pulling so she says something regarding it and I irritably say "yeah, i know it's freaking annoying" or something of that nature, obviously I had a tone to my voice, but it was in regards to the dog pulling she yells," Don't fucking talk to me like that I'm tired of you always talking to me with an attitude.
" I told her it had nothing to do with her, I was showing my frustration towards the dog and she said she doesn't care that I have no right to talk to her that way, she does this all the time.
if I'm irritated about something and I attempt to talk to her about it (even if it's just to vent my frustration) I'm accused of talking nasty towards her, then there's the other issue of her taking things that I've said and twisting them so that I'm offending her when I haven't said anything that would offend a rational person.
for instance, the other night she made both of us sandwiches, she placed mine on the oven.
when I looked over I noticed that there was cat hair all over the top of the oven and I simply said "oh, man, there's cat hair all over the top of the oven" (in disappointment because I didn't want to eat cat hair) and she said that I was "the worst husband ever" and said that I can make my own food from now on, then the other night we were discussing what to make for supper, she said she would like to make shrimp alfredo.
I mentioned how lemon pepper shrimp might be good and she says "that sounds disgusting", so I said "oh, well that's how they make it at chilis" (I'm thinking it's a simple conversation) so she says "well, if my food isn't good enough then you can just cook for yourself from now on.
I'm tired of you making me feel like shit.
you're just like logan (who's my son, because he will sometimes say things like the food is chewy, even though he's never told her it was nasty or anything because he doesn't like to hurt people's feelings), she will twist what my son says around as well and make it seem as though he's talking back when he isn't or is being nasty when he isn't.
for instance, he dropped his cell phone on accident and cracked the screen, but she told him as punishment he can use his allowance to pay the deductible.
so, being the sweet kid he is, he says "that's fine, I don't care about paying the deductible!" with a smile on his face (meaning that he doesn't mind helping) but she yells at him "don't talk back with that attitude!".
when i explain to her what he meant, I get yelled at so, how do you talk to someone like this?
It appears that your wife has a sense that she is unworthy and she is blaming you, putting it all on you because she feels powerless and vulnerable for some reason. Know that this has nothing to do with you, nothing. Something is hurting her - deeply. She might not believe she needs help. Is there anyone else who notices her behvior and attitude? Perhaps an intervention.