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Asked by Last Updated:

Does he not care?

We have been married for 15 years now.
We have moved to a different state because of his job transfer.
We've been here for 4 years now.
Well he's 43 and he has a friend now that is 26.
Which is a big problem that I'm having due to spending more time with him then me and the kids, seeing them both socializing with lots to talk about, share there interests with each other , always in a good mood and smiling.
Yeah it might be a little bit of jealousy I certainly understand that.
But come on now we're talkin about a single 26 year old boy that's always fishing for a female, how could I not be somewhat bothered at my husband is best friends with this dude.
2 me it's a big problem seeing these things from him when he's not like that with me.
We lack communication, we don't go places together, we don't laugh and smile all the time when we're together, for an example if his favorite football game was on he wouldn't ask me to come watch it with him but he would call his friend and ask him.
Yeah I have a few problems in our relationship but you would be reading a book instead of this question that I have if I were to tell you it all.
My concern is that ever since he met this guy and became friends he's changed a lot.
He has been growing his hair out and it's almost to his shoulders now and he knows that I do not like it and I have told him this several times.
I've even told him to put his hat on when we going public places LOL I've even told him in a joking way to put his hat on before we become intimate.
He refuses to cut his hair he also has changed his taste in music he is also started talking like his friend.
A year after we met he didn't really like the music that I listen to it was Hip Hop.
He would act as if he was disgusted with it.
So I wouldn't play it as much.
Now that he has a black friend he listens to the new hip hop songs that I have never heard of.
And he knows the names and the names of the songs.
We also had a conversation before that if I cut my hair really short and he didn't like it I wouldn't cut it again I would grow it long just so that he wouldn't lose that feeling, You know that so beautiful interest feeling.
Heck no I would never want my husband to lose that over me.
Why is this happening? I've also have told him before in a joking way that not to get mad if I start losing my sexual interest feeling that I have for him because he won't change back to how he used to look before.
Does he not care?

2 Answers

Victor27 Answered:

Remember how he used to treat you when you were first dating. How did that feel? The crisis will last as long as you allow it to. In order to stop the crisis you must change the way you thing, change what you focus on - good things vs. negative things.

Victor27 Answered:

sounds like a midlife crisis. Recall the man you fell in love with, and treat him that way.


Replied on Jun 30, 2018

I'm somewhat confused on what you meant buy recall the man I fell in love with and treat him that way? I don't understand what you mean by that.
LOL I'm sorry for my misunderstanding.
And I have another quick question how long does this crisis thing last?

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