What is wrong with our marriage?
We have been married for 2.
5 years now.
It is an arranged marriage.
We have no kids(thankfully).
My husband is a nice guy.
He has a temper and he yells very badly.
He even said "i dont know what i got into" reffering to our marriage.
he physically hit me once.
He is a smart, studied in the best universities and earns a lot of money(twice as me).
When i started looking for jabs after college it took me three months.
In the time of me looking for jobs,i didnot seem to him that i was commited to achieving a successful career or workhard at it.
He got annoyed he said that "i dont know what i got into".
It made me feel like he married me to earn him some extra money.
I didnot see any love.
Anything i say to him he gets very defensive misunderstands and yells at me.
I feel shattered and i apologize and try and explain my perspective.
He realizes later and he says sorry but it has become such a regular thing that me crying(without him seeing me) and feeling sorry for my situation is regular.
Later on i started to take the blame when he gets mad so as to cool him down but day by day i am losing my soul.
I know i am depressed but i donot want to address the issue.
I cannot bring a baby into such an abusive world.
I want to fix my marriage.
WHat to do.
It sounds like you are in a mentally, emotionally, and in once instance (or more) a physically abusive relationship. This is toxic behavior on the part of your husband and should not be tolerated.
You deserve better than to be yelled at and hit, and you are right not to bring a baby into such an unstable marriage.
There is an article I would like you to read. It's called " How to Save a Toxic Marriage: Dos and Don'ts .” The article highlights that while a toxic marriage can be saved, you should not pursue this course if you are in physical danger.