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Asked by Last Updated:

Girlfriend’s not too sure about our relationship. Should I leave?

I’m really frustrated with how things are between me and my girlfriend right now.
We met through a social dating tour about 4 years ago and everything’s been magical.
The first two years were great and all.
I got to fly back and forth to visit her often, I met her family and friends.
Things were going so good until last year.
The whole year last year, I wasn’t able to come see her since I had a lot of unexpected financial problems which hindered me from booking a ticket.
So, for the entire year, we couldn’t see each other.
She offered to come over here to see me but I always insisted that I would book a ticket soon since I know she also needs the money.
During the last few months until now, she’s starting to doubt our relationship -and me.
She insists that I keep promising her I would come over but I always end up giving reasons instead.
She feels as though I might be cheating on her or if I don’t want to put as much effort in the relationship as I normally do.
It’s been really stressful lately and I just don’t know what to do.
I’ve got tons of problems here at home, work and my relationship.
What should I do? Leave? Fight?  

1 Answers

Hanna Baker Answered:

It sounds like distance isn't making the heart grow fonder, in this case. It sounds like your relationship really took a blow when you couldn't see each other in person.
I would make plans to go see her as soon as you can. This will likely put her at ease. In the meantime, you should make a plan for what you intend to do about your relationships.
I've read statistics that long-distance relationships are more successful when there is an "End Date" in mind - AKA, a day when you've been together long enough that one of you needs to take the next step and move closer/to the same city.
This is a great article all about beating the challenges of long-distance relationships and I think you'd benefit from giving it a read.

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