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Asked by Last Updated:

Should I say No

I had a physical relationship with a guy who was 10 yrs younger than me.
He's 45.
He lead me on a bit.
He said that he didn't want a relationship but sometimes he said he might.
He said that if it wasn't for my age he would.
He has two young children and didn't want me to see them.
I fell in love with him so it hurt too much and I ended up telling him I wasn't going to continue it.
He doesn't talk to me when he's with his kids, no reason I guess he's not lonely.
Now though he has said he just wants to see me as a friend and call in when he's around not often I'm guessing.
It makes me wild and I find it hard to see him without feeling hurt.
Should I say 'no'.

5 Answers

FedUpChangeUp Answered:

Hey Gwen! I hate to say this but you are being curve balled. I agree that people should not see your children but if things are at a certain level then it should be no problem. I don't believe that he is just dodging you when he is around the kids. I also think that he could still be romantically involved with another woman or the other parent..


Replied on Apr 28, 2018

What makes you think he's seeing another woman?


Replied on Apr 28, 2018

I'm not saying that he is but it's very possible.
Red flag number one you said he led you on and he gave you the age difference line.
That's an indication by itself that he's going to move on to someone that's more age appropriate.
Red flag number two he has kids.
What man does not desire help with nurturing and raising his kids? Red flag number 3 he just wants to see you as a friend which gives him the absolute right to move on without hurting your feelings because you have now been placed in the friend zone.
Red flag number 4 there is nothing wrong with talking to someone you take intrest in while your children are around as long as the conversation is PG rated and respectful.

Gwen09 Answered:

He has separated from his wife and is single. He has shared custody of his children. I don't see how it's cheating on his family.

Alice257 Answered:

I firmly believe you must say 'no' because at the end of the day it will hurt you. As he has a happy family, you must end up talking to him because it's cheating on his family. Let him go, and start fresh!!

FedUpChangeUp Answered:

So sorry that this has happened to you. You want to give your heart to someone that's not wanting to return the favor. Sometimes rejection is for your protection. It's better for the two of you not to be in a committed relationship if he's just going to push you to the side and give excuses. Gwen I think that he has let you know what he fully wants which is convenience not fulfillment. I agree with you after 6 months, you will know where you stand. Don't waste any more time, because there is someone that loves everything about Gwen. Unfortunately it's not him though.

Gwen09 Answered:

That is all true. I've had the same thoughts re his children. There was no harm in meeting his children. He could have introduced me as a friend. That made me feel like he felt embarrassed to say I was his friend. My friend thoughto I shouldn't have pressured him and given time, he might have changed his mind. I think I already gave it too much time, about 6 mths. What you've said makes perfect sense. What annoys me is that he knew I was mad about him and didn't care about hurting me.

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