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Asked by Last Updated:

How to stop being uptight and shy about sex?

My boyfriend and I have discussed exhibitionism (having someone watch us have sex) and while I want to try it, we're having trouble finding someone who I would be okay with.
He suggested someone we know, and I turned it down because that person is just too close of a friend for me to be comfortable with it.
I've always been a bit shy, and I feel apprehensive about letting someone see me naked (or him naked for that matter) I feel like when I say no when he asks for something, I'm disappointing him.
I worry I'm complicating everything, but I don't know how to let go of my anxiety.
I feel like such a failure, and that if I keep upsetting him, he's going to get sick of it.
What can I do to stop being so uptight?

2 Answers

Questioner Answered:

You are going to have differences in desire and opinion, in and outside the bedroom. Your desire to please is a great thing, but he has to adjsut to you also. Some possible ways for you to either compromise or build up your ability to do these things are as follows: Role playing let your vueyer be a camera. I've heard porn stars talk about being exhibitionists, and also about how it's easier to perform for a camera than for a real person. Dogging- performing sex acts in places where it's possible somebody might see. It doesn't necessarily even have to be likely. Each of these things will have varying levels of comfort for you and him, but might serve as good compromises or as exposure training for you.

Alexalives4him Answered:

I think your response is so normal. My husband and I have talked about this in the past and enjoy the thought of it so it seems as much as actually doing it. However I’ve often thought about who though I’m not sure our “who’s” would match. Either way it’s normal to feel how you feel because it’s a taboo and not normal to have someone watch your intimate life. I would suggest you start by enjoying the thought itself.

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