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Asked by Last Updated:

I caught my wife having an affair. What should I do?

My wife and I have been married for less than a year now.
 However, we have been together for almost 8 years, and I feel like we have spent a significant portion of our life with each other.
 About 2 years ago, she cheated on me the first time.
 It was a one-time thing with a random guy while she was out of town on a trip.
 After going to couple's therapy, I managed to forgive her.
 Since then, we have experimented with an open relationship, which we decided to give up on after a while since it started to take away from our own relationship.
Yesterday, I found out that she is having an affair with a man in her theater group.
 It has been going on for a couple weeks now, and she admits to having sex with him once.
 What really hurts is all of the lies she has told me to keep her affair a secret.
 We talked last night after I figured it out, and she seems to feel shame about what she has done to me, but I also realize that she wasn't completley happy with our marriage.
 I don't want to leave her, but I don't want to keep getting hurt.
 What should I do?   

2 Answers

Solodun Answered:

You have been so patient with your wife despite confirming surety of cheating you, and she still continues to persist in her infidelity, you never can tell if she has many others apart from those you knew about, and cheating in marriage is very dangerous, I can't advise you to opt out of the relationship but I would have you to give it a second thought, if infidelity continues in a relationship, it could make sudden death in such relationship easy. My advice to you, find out and resolve your issues with your wife.

CindyBaker Answered:

It's best you both part ways since you have already utilized the avenue of marriage counseling, which seemed to have brought respite and repaired your marital damage, for a while. However, since cheating has not been a singular instance but more of a recurring instance in your marriage, you both need to do yourself a favour a part ways, amicably and remain at best, friends, if possible.

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