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Asked by Last Updated:

Was I wrong for not wanting my mother in law to stay with us during her 2 week visit?

My husbands mother and her new husband planned to visit at the end of the month and planned to stay with my husband and I but I wasn’t too fond of the idea.
Yes she has stayed in the past with her deceased husband about 3 times but my husband knew I also wasn’t happy about those times either.
My husband gave her the ok without my agreeing with it so I proceeded to text her (after getting my husbands go ahead) and let her know that I didn’t think it would be such a good idea.
My husband was ok with my decision UNTIL his mother ( whom seemed very understanding and ok with my decision as well) texted him with the decision not to come.
My husband completely changed his attitude and even threatened to end our 12 year marriage.
I felt like he should have backed up my decision but instead he took his mother’s side and said I disrespected his mother.
Was I wrong and should I have set my feelings aside just to let her stay for 2 weeks even if I was uncomfortable with it?

1 Answers

CindyBaker Answered:

Hi! It would not be much to ask for if sometimes you can relegate your feelings and level of comfort at the side step, especially if the person in question happens to be your mother in law. Do not let embitterment steep in your marital life due to such rigidity.You don't need to go the extra mile and run from nook and cranny to pander to her demands or any unreasonable expectations. Do not bend backwards, but be civil and reasonably welcoming to your husband's wife. Also, this done, you can ask your husband to pitch in support in attending to his mother and her husband.

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