marriage falling apart
6 years married, two kids 5y and 9m.
I see my marriage breaking apart and I dont want that.
Long story short, it all started the night of our wedding where her mom told her that she should call off the wedding because her mom thinks my parents are disrespectful to her and she shouldnt expect anything different from me!! I talked her out of this saying that my folks and yours doesnt have anything to do with our life.
I kept mine distant and barely talking to them since - did my part but she didnt.
She is too influenced by her mother and I turned out to be the reason for all the problems in the world! "Irresponsible, Immature, Couldnt be counted on" are the main lines that I hear every time we talk now.
Except for the last year when she got pregnant, the situation was controllable, somehow, we used to find the way back to sanity.
Following the birth of our son, her mom strikes again.
The tension is unbearable and this is where I broke down under the pressure and I started going in all directions, things that I have said knowing that I will regret! I have asked her to keep her mom out of our life, give it a try to see if things will improve between the two of us.
she is not accepting.
My problem is that I still love her and want to be with her, I love my kids as much and I dont want to see my family falling apart.
In my mind, it is her mom out of our life or I cant move on.
It is psychological, emotional, but it is all I think about now and I really cannot move on in my mind.
Divorce is not an option, I really dont want to reach this dead end and I am not willing to make any more compromises.
Any word of advice would be really appreciated.
Have you tried broaching up the subject to your wife's mother? It seems like she exerts a strong influence on your wife. Try speaking to her, in presence of your wife and exert the importance of a healthy and happy synergy between the families from both sides. Tell her how all this negativity is gnawing away at your marital bliss. Also, your wife is an adult. She should be able to make judicious choices. If you are finding it difficult to make her snap out of this situation, why not take a short break where your wife and you get some time off to cool your head and make more clearer choices. Maybe this break will put things into perspective for your wife and she will begin to understand your place and significance in her life.