Writing your own wedding vows is such a beautiful addition to any wedding. Not only will you get the ability to stress how you really feel to your partner that you’re planning to spend the rest of your life with, but it also adds a personal touch to your wedding and helps to make the day extra special.
While this is considered a very personal and very “aww-inducing” thing to do, when it comes to actually putting pen to paper, it’s not uncommon to be drawing a blank. Perhaps you’ve got the ideas, the words are there, but it’s just a matter of putting everything in order into a statement that tells your loved one the message that you want to send?
Today, we’re going to explore everything you need to know about writing the perfect vows for your wedding, so you can tell that special someone how you really feel.
1. Do your research
There are many different types of wedding vows out there, many of which you may never have even heard of before. For example, you might be religious and, therefore, you may want to include a religious aspect into your vows.
However, that’s not the only option you have. Read poetry books, watch movies, television programs, perhaps even video games, to see what kind of vows are used and how they are presented.
By doing this, you’ll be able to expand your horizons before writing, giving yourself a clear idea of how you want your vows to go.
2. Be accurate with your writing
Regardless of whether you’re planning on reading your vows off a sheet of paper or memorising them to read from memory, it’s important to remember that accuracy, such as spelling and format, will play a major role when you’re reading them back.
It’s not uncommon to be nervous when you’re standing up there at the altar in front of all your family and friends, especially when it’s your turn to talk, so make sure your vows are written up accurately to minimise the risk of making a mistake.
3. Sit and close your eyes
Of course, it doesn’t matter how much you write; whether you’re a beginner or a professional writer, your vows need to come from your heart and soul. Spend some time together, spend some time apart. Make notes through the build-up to your wedding and try to pay attention to the little details that come together to make you love this other person.
If you’re trying to collect a lot of talking points over time, you can try using note writing tools, such as Academized, as recommended by the HuffingtonPost, or Uktopwriters, to help keep things neat, easy-to-read and organised.
It doesn’t matter how big or small these details are, these are the details that make you want to be with them for the rest of your life and these are the things you’re going to want to mention in your vows.
4. Give yourself time
One of the most important aspects to remember when writing your vows is actually giving yourself time to write them. Although there are stories of it happening and working, the chances are that you’re not going to want to write your vows an hour or so before the wedding starts, there’s simply too much to do.
“Instead, start thinking about writing your vows as soon as you and your partner have decided that you’re going to write your own. This gives you plenty of time to think about exactly what you’re going to say” – explains Janet Garner, a Romance writer and letter editor at Revieweal and Australian help.
5. Consider Your structure/format
Think about how your wedding is going to go. Are you going to see each other beforehand on the day? Perhaps you plan on not seeing each other for several days, perhaps weeks, before the wedding to help build up your excitement.
If this is the case, it’s important to consider whether or not you’re going to show each other your wedding vows before the big day itself. After all, you’re going to want to be promising similar things to each other.
If you don’t want to show each other, one approach you can take to make things air is to decide on a format for your vows. You can find many examples of this online with a quick Google search, and you can feel free to combine elements of different styles and formats, so you have the perfect vows.
Alternatively, you can always refer to writing guides and writing communities, such as Ukwritings and Bigassignments, where you can find professional help when it comes to choosing your ideal vow structure.
6. Practice makes perfect
After you’ve finished writing your vows, don’t forget to practice speaking your vows aloud. You could practice with your other half, in front of a mirror, with friends, or simply when you’re driving your car or walking to work.
Practicing speaking your vows aloud is a great way to practice speaking for the actual day, but will also help you to notice whether or not your message sounds right, enabling you to pinpoint any words or sentences that you might want to change.