4 Ways to Make Your Spousal Separation More Amicable When You Have Kids
Spousal separations can be tough when you have kids. It’s your duty as a parent, though, to make it as easy as possible on them by having an amicable separation.
Below are four ways you can make things at least a bit more amicable for the sake of your kids.
How to have an amicable separation
1. Put the focus on the kids
It’s always a good idea to start by making sure that you have the right focus. While your separation from your spouse might be problematic and difficult for you, you can find it a bit easier to be amicable if you’re focusing more on your kids.
Then again, separating with children is not simple as well. To make things easier for all, look at your partner not as someone from whom you are separated, but someone with whom you share responsibility for your children.
2. Don’t pretend it’s normal
Your next step is to stop pretending like things are normal. This is a new situation, and it’s very likely that you’re going to have come up with new rules.
Your children understand that things are different now, so don’t try to pretend otherwise. Instead, acknowledge that the situation is real and that you’re doing your best is something you can do to have an amicable separation with a child.
Your children will appreciate knowing that you trust them enough to be honest.
3. Set limits on discussion
The next step is to put some realistic limits on what needs to be discussed around the kids. It’s not appropriate to discuss what needs to happen with your alimony lawyer when your kids are around, nor is drop-off time a good point for you and your spouse to argue about something related to child support.
You can keep things much more amicable by declaring certain topics off-limits when you’re not directly working with your attorneys.
4. Communicate directly
Wondering, how to make your split as smooth as possible? You can start by communicating directly with your partner.
Make sure that you communicate with your spouse directly during this time period. One of the worst mistakes people make is trying to communicate through their children.
Not only is this incredibly unreliable, but it’s also a good way to alienate your child and make him or her feel like he or she is in the middle. If you have something to say, either say it yourself or make sure that you deliver the message through a lawyer.
While your separation may not be pleasant, you can keep things more amicable for your children. Don’t use them as pawns and don’t treat them like they don’t understand what is going on.
If you can be honest with your children and put them first, you’ll make it through the separation with your relationship with your children intact.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.