10 Days of Valentine Experiment for a Heart-Healing Revolution
It only takes one person to jump-start a heart healing revolution in a relationship.
Over time in long term relationships, distance-inducing issues can pile up due to not having the time, energy or tools to solve them. Soon we find our hearts more guarded, resentments known and unknown wearing on our hearts.
We’ve all heard stories of relationships ending over one small issue, the straw that broke the camel’s back. We’ve also all heard of relationships saved by one person setting aside all their “stuff” to bust a loving move to close the distance and heal the wounds thwarting intimacy.
One person can cause a seismic shift in a relationship with even the smallest act.
There is room to squeeze in some more love
No matter how much distance there may be between two people, there’s always room to squeeze in some more love, spackling even the tiniest of cracks. Sometimes, it can be something very simple that can start a heart healing revolution in a relationship.
It could be one person making a small internal shift which then affects how they behave toward their beloved.
What if you took just two minutes a day for ten days to do what I call Love Imaginings to start a love revolution in your relationship?
It will take twenty minutes total, two minutes a day for the ten days up to and including Valentine’s Day, and no one has to know about it but you (and me if you want to email me and share your experience).
All you need is a timer and this article!
If you want extra credit, set a reminder for yourself on your phone or calendar so you don’t forget for all ten days. Ideally, you will do this at the same time daily so it becomes a lovely little habit.
My hope is that you will look forward to it.
Give yourself a quiet space, away from devices. If you have to steal away to the bathroom, do it. Wherever you can let your mind freely imagine these scenarios and repeat the little mantra for each one. If your mind objects, saying that a prompt is unrealistic or too big a stretch for you to get beyond, let it go for two minutes. Jump. Beyond it.
Let your imagination have fun with this, run with this, fly with this exercise.
1. February 5th
Remember a moment very early in your relationship when you were so excited to see your beloved. Go back and remember the moment you saw them after being separated for a while.
Maybe it’s a snapshot in your memory of opening the door to be picked up for a date.
Let your mind wander to remember what you were wearing, where you were, what they were wearing, what the weather was like – any details you can remember. Let your mind wander to those snapshots as you repeat – I like you, I really like you.
2. February 6th
Imagine your beloved at their current job, the people, the place. Imagine them having fun and doing a great job, and repeat – I see your success. I know your success.
3. February 7th
Imagine your beloved in a forest, sitting at the base of a giant redwood in a magical forest, nestled comfortably on the soft forest floor, as serene and powerful as that mighty tree, and repeat – I see your strength. I know your strength.
4. February 8th
Imagine your beloved playing joyfully with dolphins in a crystalline sea in a paradisiacal sea, and repeat – I see your joy. I know your joy.
5. February 9th
Imagine your beloved sitting comfortably in a field of flowers on an exquisite sunny day, flowers as far as the eye can see, and repeat – I see your beauty. I know your beauty.
6. February 10
Imagine your beloved lying in your bed waiting for you, fully present, so happy to be yours, and repeat – I see your sexiness. I know your sexiness.
7. February 11th
Imagine your beloved at the top of a mountain, arms up in the air having just submitted the mighty peak and repeat – I see your power. I know your power.
8. February 12th
Imagine your beloved standing, breathing in, taking in his surroundings at a holy place (whatever that is for your — church, temple, an ancient ruin) and repeat – I see your holiness. I bow to your holiness.
9. February 13th
Imagine that you are bathing the feet of your beloved in warm nurturing water, gently, lovingly, as if washing a newborn, with the touch of an angel. Repeat – I see you, my beloved. I bow to you, my beloved.
10. Valentine’s Day
Imagine that magically and miraculously you can reach inside your beloved’s chest and ever so gently and easily take their heart into your hands.
Imagine the heart glows with a golden light, and you can effortlessly hold it in the palms of your hands, pouring your pure unconditional love into it and repeat – I love you, my beloved. I love you, my beloved.
Have fun with love imaginings
The ultimate goal is for you to have fun with these Love Imaginings.
You’ll get to practice showering your beloved with love, enjoy the effects of your generosity, and warm your own heart so that when you step into Valentine’s Day you are well-versed in the practice of giving to your love’s heart.
If there is deeper work to do to bring closeness between you, this will clear the path a little.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.